I broke NC on day 7 and think he's playing games now

[want_his_love]

those who read my previous post will know the situation.

basically we had a huge showdown of an argument on valentines and he ended it and said he jsut couldnt be with me any more.

so i started NC (not a discussed thing, just thought id give him space)

was planning on contactin him after 2-3 weeks but caved in today.

mailed him a short mail this mornining saying " just mailing you to touch base and make sure you well"

 

he mailed back and said "ive been burning candle at both ends so not so good but thats my own fault. my emotions are all over the place and ive been quite upset at times.. how r u?"

 

so i sent him a mail back telling him how well im doing and how i havent touched alcohol and that im doing this and that and jsut made myself sound really busy and didnt say i had missed him or anything. also said to make sure he looks after himself and dont burn candle at both ends to much. then i asked if he fancied meeting up one sunday and going for something to eat n catch up

 

he mailed back saying

 

i haven't got nothing to hide and im not ashamed to admit this but im missing u so much lately. i think its so weird 4 me rite now. a new stage in my life. 4 the better?? only time will tell!!!! im jus so confused. is it easy 2 understand that i do want to see u alot but i dont know what it mite do 2 me coz i dont wana miss u more and feel worse than i already do.

 

and he also said that maybe we should meet up n get a friendship started

 

so then i said.

 

well i totaly understand and its up 2 you.. i dont want to pressure you into anything u feel uncomfortable with etc etc etc

 

then he said...

 

next sunday, if we were to go out, where do u fancy going??

 

then he mailed "i wish i handt come over on valentines" .. meaning he probably wishes we were still together and handt had that massive argument

 

and he sent another message saying he was busy at work and he would reply this afternoon after his lunch break

 

 

so i mailed back sayin .....thats kool and i dont mind where we go as long as its not 2 expensive as i havta be careful with money at the moment.

 

then after lunch .. he didnt reply.... i waited a while and then mailed him saying "r u ok?" and still no reply.

 

then i text him saying "could you contact me and let me know your ok coz u know how i worry, if u r 2 busy 2 send a propa email then that ok just want to know your ok. if u have changed your mind about meeting up then thats kool, whatever makes u happy bebe". the text was received on his phone

 

he will have finished work now and i didnt get a reply at all...

i get really worried if people say they will contact and they dont so now i am worrying that he's been knocked over by a bus or somethin

 

so i have tried to ring him but his phone is turned off.... he knows i will be worrying now coz i worry way to much.. he knows this after 2 years of being with me.

 

IS HE PLAYING GAMES NOW BECUASE I HAVE ACTED REALLY STRONG AND LIKE IVE BEEN BUSY AND THE OLD ME WHO CHASED HIM AROUND AND BEGGING HIM 2 BE WITH ME IS GONE.

maybe he wanted me to be chasing him again so thsi is why he has blanked me now in hope that i will worry so much that i will start begging him again

 

what do u think?????

[kellbell]

Hey there,

 

I would lay low for awhile. I think you have contacted him enough. The ball is in his court. Personally, I do not think he is playing games. He asked you out, let you know how he has been doing, what he has been up to and admitted he missed you. Perhaps he wants to smooth things over.

 

But I would wait until he calls you. Hang in there.

[splashdown]

If he's playing games, let him play them alone. Maybe he is, maybe he isn't, but games aren't much fun if only one is playing.

 

You've made the effort...the ball's in his court to get in touch now.

[want_his_love]

ive just come up to check messages and 20 mins ago he sent me and email saying

 

"ring me"

 

but his phone is still switched off.

 

* * * is going on

[kellbell]

Well, he is burning the candle on both ends which is not fun. Give him a change. Chill for a while and do your own thing. Clinginess and neediness are very unattractive behaviors. Hang in there okay?

[want_his_love]

i will.

 

jus gotta play the waiting game now.

 

i wonder whats going on.

[kellbell]

Try keeping yourself busy. Take a walk, call a friend, clean a closet. Whatever it takes.

[want_his_love]

i deff think he's playing around now....

 

he maild me and tells me to call him.... but his phone is still turned off 4 and half hours later.

 

i have sent him a text saying

 

"i tried to call but your phone is off, im not going to worry coz every time i worry for hours your ok. i will leave it up 2 u 2 contact me, hope 2 speak 2 u soon"

 

he will get that when he turns his phone on.

 

surely there aint a rational explanation for this... why wud any1 tell me 2 ring but their phone is turnd off

[bigheart09]

Just leave it alone for now. He will realize his phone is off and when he turns it on he will see ur messages...i dont think he is playing any games. I am sure what happened VDay is still bothering him and being needy again will just push him away.

[kellbell]

Maybe his battery is dead. More times than not I flake on charging my phone, my battery dies then I get a lecture from my boyfriend that it is hard to reach me via cell phone. LOL

 

I would just chill. I am sure there is a logicial explanation for what is going on. But like I mentioned before, it is important for you to carry on your life. Hang with your friends, work out, do whatever. It is not good to be waiting around for him to call, especially if he is an ex.

[Mavis VDSande]

I think you should just stick to NC and not bother chasing him. Because there's still plenty of self boosting to be done on your part.

 

After a few hours of him not replying to your email you email him to ask if he's ok, then you text him, and try to ring him. Can you see that when you panic you start to "stalk" him? He's a grown man, he can take care of himself.

 

We've all fallen into the "panic" mode. I don't believe that you mean what you say when you said you "get worried when ppl that say they'll contact you, and don't". I think you mean to say you get worried when "he's slipping away from you". Trust me, I've been there!

 

Keep cool for now, if he says let's meet up, don't throw your plans away to put him on your priority. Don't be so avaliable. You need to show him that you're not going to go into a blind panic if he's doing his own thing. Before you think should I do this or not, look at your actions and think about what they show to him.

 

Hugs x