tabbycat07 Posted February 21, 2007 Share Posted February 21, 2007 not doing good at all! for the past 2 weeks i have been having suicidal thoughts! i dont know why though! i go to therapy tomorrow, but is that soon enough!?!?!? needing some support... dont know wht to do .. i want to cut so badly!! Link to comment
tabbycat07 Posted February 21, 2007 Author Share Posted February 21, 2007 Current mood: crushed here is some of my recent poems.... Dont ever dont ever tell what i did dont ever reveal what everyone keeps hid dont ever tell of this special nap dont ever tell or this thin band holding me back will snap 01-03-07 death at seven thrust after thrust she loses his trust sigh after sigh she again wishes to die tear after tear she lives everyday in complete fear lie after lie her body lies there paralized thrust after thrust shover after shove sigh after sigh tear after tear lie after lie at seven that little girl had to die to survive 01-09-07 its up to me its up to me how i respond its up to me to repair all the shattered bonds its up to me to love what i see its up to me to decide i can disagree its up to me to make a positive change its up to me to make my life positively rearranged 01-16-07 still... still fighting to live everydau still confused on the right thing to say still depressed and low still holding on when i need to let go 01-22-07 every mom, except mine every mom, except mine is there for her child every mom, except mine is caring and mild every mom, except mine is always there every mom, except mine have EVER cared 02-12-07 scars scars on my arms. scars on my legs. but still there is no scar bigger than the one reoppened on my heart. 02-13-07 inexpressable feelings hurting inside with inexpressable feelings, i dont know how to control this. i want it to end, but every try is a miss. i thought i would be ok, but i'm not. i tought i could survive, but i guess i not; things get worse everyday. 02-13-07 running running with no emotional gain running but sinking in my pain running but no where to go running from what, i dont know 02-18-07 tell me what you think... Link to comment
tabbycat07 Posted February 21, 2007 Author Share Posted February 21, 2007 ok... i am sick of avoiding this... the real reason that i am having such a hard time is because i was raped over the weekend!!! so many mixed feelings... i cant take it! Link to comment
Daligal83 Posted February 21, 2007 Share Posted February 21, 2007 Hey tabbycat, I'm sorry you're feeling so down. I think it's great though that you're going to therapy tomorrow. Does writing poetry help you resist cutting? Maybe it'd be helpful to find outlets like that so when you do feel that need, you can choose alternative way to express your pain. Also, has your therapist given you techniques to use when you feel like cutting, or is this your first meeting? Link to comment
Daligal83 Posted February 21, 2007 Share Posted February 21, 2007 Just saw that post and I'm so sorry. That is such a hard thing to go through but remember, it is not your fault! Do you think you could call your therapist and bump your meeting up to today? Link to comment
grumbly_bum Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 I don't even know what to say to you Tabby. Ya know, reading things like this make me feel so bad for being self obsessed. Here I am self obsessing with how bad my life is and stuff, when there's people that have things just as bad, and if not worse... If it makes you feel any better, my heart is with you, even if it is just for the next few minutes... Chin up hun. Link to comment
AnotherBrokenDoll Posted February 25, 2007 Share Posted February 25, 2007 Heyz hunny, Well i can't pretend to understand what you're going through, or even imagine the pain that you must have felt. But hun there is a way out. I'm glad you're seeing a therapist and i hope that goes well. Tell her everything and don't hold back on any emotions. Keeping it inside will hurt so much more. Find a friend that you can lean on and fee free to vent here as many people know what you've been through and have been through it themselves. Sometimes life throws things we think we cannot handle anymore upon us but as you keep fighting you realise you do get stronger even if it takes a while to notice. Please keep in contact and feel free to PM me if you just need someone to talk to. Hope things get better, Rozie xoxo Link to comment
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