No show Valentines in my head still

[storebought]

I had been out with this girl 4 times over a month. I like her and rarely meet girls that I'm comfortable with and can talk to. I called her the day before valentines to ask her out to dinner. She said she was really opposed to that because of the restaurant wait times and all but said that we could meet up, so I said 8 and she said OK. Then next day at 4pm she calls and cancels but says she's good at rescheduling, which is not exactly true, but she was definitely letting me know that she still wanted to see me another day. Naturally I was kind of mad cause I had already asked to leave work a few hours early and I let her know that, calmly. She didn't ever apologize which really made me angry and the phone conversation ended with me saying "...if you want to hang out just give me a call" which I''m afraid was the nail in the coffin because its been a week and she hasn't called. I would call her but it seems that it would be too pathetic for her to respect anyway so I haven't bothered. Im 24, she's 20 and I'm over her canceling on valentine's but I don't know how to approach her again. Any ideas?

[karvala]

What does she like doing? Dinner, movie, drink, concert, theatre? What are her interests? Anyway, assuming you know (and if you don't, dinner/drink is probably the default option; everyone has to eat/drink!), think of a specific arrangement (but don't actually book it), and then simply phone her, act casual, ask her if she would like to do whatever it is you've thought of, at that particular time (so it's a specific proposal). If she goes for it, great, if not, you can then ask her for a time and/or event that will suit her. If she's ambiguous about that, I think you've then earned the right to ask her what the real problem is, but hopefully, that won't be necessary.

[thlst3]

Be patient. Sometimes there's a lot of factor that you're unaware. This is a new relationship so there's a lot of caution and guard. I'm sure she has her reasons. It's only been 4 dates, you need to gain her trust.

 

Don't be bitter or express bitterness if she cancels on you. I think it's brave you asked her out on Valentines day but it's alot of pressure and expectations.

 

Just email and ask her how she's doing and talk about something random. Keep it light. Feel her out and see if she responds. Don't talk about the canceled date or why she hasn't called.

 

If she does respond, that's good. Call her later that day or the next and ask her out to coffee.

 

It's dating game and it's tough at times... just play nice.

[longhaircats]

I got an impression that you kinda pressured her to see on V-day? Meeting up on V-day is quite special, so she might have felt unconfortable since you guys are still in a early stage of dating. I don't know her reason of canceling the date in last minutes, but if someone cancel on you (1st time), you should act cool with it, and never blame her or make her feel bad by telling her that you have already arranged to leave work early. Women can be easily turned off by that.

 

Now you can choose two options:

1) send a simple text like "what's up"

2) send an email saying sorry for being a jerk the other night and you'd like to meet up again.

 

Hope this helps.

[storebought]

2) send an email saying sorry for being a jerk the other night and you'd like to meet up again.

 

It actually wasn't the first time she canceled on me and I played it cool then with positive results. I understand where she's coming from not wanting to hang out that particular day and I told her I understood that but I don't think telling someone you're mad is acting like a jerk, unless your suggesting to admit as much for the sake of 'the game', which I don't think I could do. I'll probably text her but would it maybe be better to hang out at one of her spots and wait to run into her? I know that seems a little far but they're cool places to hang anyway. thanks for the feedback.

[longhaircats]

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that she cancelled on you more than once. That's a different story then. What was her excuse to cancel the date on V-Day? Whatever reason, she should have at least apologized for canceling the date in last minutes, because she ruined your opportunity to spend your night with your buddies and have good time with them. I wouldn't even bother calling her. If you really like that girl, try to run into her might be a good idea.

 

Good luck!