young_Post Marital Depression

[AwdreeHpburn]

I don't know if I just missed seeing it, but has it been asked?

 

How old ARE you?

 

Not that it matters terribly, being stuck in an unhappy marriage is not age discriminate. I'm just curious.

[ghost69]

she's 20. it's in the OP.

[PHillwife]

 

 

Been there... i am there.

 

I have finally decided I need to stop this insanity. It's going to be so hard we both have a daughter and we own a house...i have no ideawhat i will do

[young_wife]

Hello all,

 

Sorry I've been so MIA, i went away for 2 weeks to California after the break-up. I wasn't running away, I planned a vacation prior to telling my husband I wanted out and I guess I just did it before I went away so that I could clear my head completely and relax.

 

There's a lot to tell but I'll make this long story short. He was obv devastated but glad I was honest. I told him I wasn't in love with him anymore and needed to get out because I was misreable. He understood. He is very understanding.

 

Two days after we called it quits, I went away for 2 weeks to Arizona to visit family and get away. The new guy I had mentioned came with me for a week because he too has family there and took a week off from work, but nothing sexual happened between the 2 of us, we just flew to the west coast together and back. We went out several times and did get very emotionally attached to one another, but there was no sex, I did not want to do that with him because if I did, I knew it would complicate my life even more and I was way too vulnerable. It would have just messed things up as much as we both wanted to. We kissed and stuff which was enough to mess things up. He got scared and things got weird when we came home. I was too emotionally vested so I decided to stop any physical relation we had. I found out he's involved with someone emotionally, but she's not his girlfriend. He's not the nice guy he seemed to be at the beginning so I'm trying to discard him from my thoughts because I was falling for him, since I was so emotionally vulnerable. He plays mind games, is a liar and simply wants to sleep with me.

 

However, despite my divorce and the great disappointment with who I thought was prince charming, I'm happy with my life at the moment. I'm finishing school and have dedicated my time to the growth of my personal self. It's been a very tough time because my parents have just since begun speaking to me again. They stopped talking to me for a month after everything happened because they were quite devastated and felt I made a mistake. Things have since turned around and we're back on good terms. My ex-husband and I are still great friends, because after all, that was what united us. He's a very understanding individual and though I know this has been difficult for him, I am amazed at how good he's been to me because he knows I've been burdened with this for months so he's been supportive, as much as it has hurt him.

 

Ultimately, I am at ease with myself and feel good. I've regained my freedom and have the support of a very close group of friends who have been there for me throughout this whole time. I'm grateful for that and to everyone here for their thoughts and opinions. I hope everyone is doing well.

[Dako]

Thanks for checking in!

 

I'm so glad this has a good ending. You seem to have handled this very well, and your ex must be a kind man. I hope your friendship is a long and happy one.

 

I admire the way you avoided further involvement with that other fellow, and focused on your own life.

 

Divorce can be a positive experience.

I wish you the best.

[Danielle84]

Hello. I am 22 and have gone through the same things you are now. I know you feel bad because he loves you so much...but do what's best for you and actually him. That was the hardest thing for me, because what was best for him was not to be with me. I thought about cheating and pretty much hated him. We were never married but really that's a pretty easy fix. Do what makes you happy, soon, you don't want to waste the best years of your life!!

[This Little Lady]

I'm just kind of curious to hear. What is it exactly that made you feel this way? Was it that you were unhappy with him? Or was it something that just came out of nowhere? I'm not sure if I missed it.

[young_wife]

I was never ready for the commitment, which in turn led me to resent him. Furthermore, I believe that by the time I married him, I had already fallen out of love with him. Why? Well a lot of things contributed to my change of heart; I felt pressured to get married, I felt badly because I knew how much he loved me, and I had a clouded perception that things could get better once we were married, but obviously, that didn't happen, it just made things worse. I was unhappy overall for everything I've just stated, not to mention the fact that I did not want to be with him anymore. It's something that slowly began to occur before the wedding and got much more intense as the days progressed. Eventually once I was married, it was very difficult to deal with so I couldn't take it anymore and confronted him about it.

 

Thank you all for your comments and thoughts they are immensely appreciated.