Can anyone relate?

[bdwiii]

Hi all,

 

Well, It's been a day or so since my last post.

 

I went out last night and had a great time; there were people I knew there and when I told them where I was moving into, they all said they knew the place and a lot of their friends lived there too and I would get a lot of visitors stopping in on me. This all sounded great being a lot of them will be female. I even met a knock out looking girl; we flirted a little and she said she'll stop in too with everyone else when I move in.

 

All of this sounds great, and it is too. However, Today I went to class and while I was coming home I passed the ex's place, where I used to live with her. Well, I got the same old feelings again, and had a mini anxiety attack when I thought how final it all is now. It drives me crazy to think of her making love to someone else.. just imagining that gave me a dull ache in my chest and I found it hard to breathe. To know that it will be someone else now and not me, never again will I see that look in her eyes or feel that closeness with her; it will be someone else now. The thought of that kills me, but I know it's going to happen and there's nothing I can do about it. It's what she wanted so that's the way it must be.

 

I guess right when I thought I was feeling somewhat better, it all comes rushing back.

 

Any suggestions on how to get passed this?

 

Burt

[NeedClosure]

i know how u are feeling i feel the same way many times when the smalles things start reminding me of my x and i get really sad and replay everything that happened over and over again in my mind.

 

Last night i was reading someone journal who was talking abotu her bf and now they talk on the phone for hours and have names for each other and it reminded me of my x. It made me feel really weird and just like u said it was a rush of emotions and everything that you think u can hold up inside comes out of nowhere.

 

So yes i can relate to what u are saying and i can understand the situation. Even i think of my x as to if he is married or has kids of a gf but there is nothing much i can do about anything now . I just hage to live with it.

[bdwiii]

Exactly.

 

That's the hardest part; so many memories come crashing in most every day. Just driving around the area or talking about certain things bring back so many different memories. They're like mini movies playing back in my mind, and I find myself wishing so much that I could go back in time to when they were happening and change things. But then reality comes crashing back in and I know that I can't; it's all over and gone and there's nothing I can do about it. That's what hurts the most.

 

Thanks for your reply.

[Mar]

Yeah, but you have to look at the bright side too....the healing has already begun.....you went out, had a great time, showed interest in someone else....if you were still in that deep grief period, this wouldn't have happened. I've found in the past that I'll enjoy life in small measures after something like that, and after awhile it'll suddenly hit me that I'm NOT upset anymore, and can think about my ex reasonably without that stab in the heart feeling. You don't even realize it's happening till you actually stop and think about it, which is a blessing. Just keep your head up, you're doing fine.

[bdwiii]

Thanks Mar,

 

You know, I never really thought about it that way or realized what you just pointed out till I read your post. You're right; it's a baby step, but one in the right direction.

 

It comes and goes in waves now... but it is better than when it all happened.

 

Thanks again,

 

Burt

[Mar]

You're entirely welcome.....I'm never sure if I'm giving the right advice or not, I just shoot from the heart and hope that what I say makes some sort of sense to someone other than me....lol But you ARE doing fine, and it does get better. Everyone knows this intellectually, it's just DOING it that bites...lol