What should I tell my future partner?

[NeedClosure]

Being in love and being dumped has been difficult. Although I have learned to move on, what happened 5 years ago comes back to haunt me sometimes.

However, during these years I have had relationships short term ones where I told myself

 

"Keep your true feelings to yourself because you never know when this one may end."

 

And so I have done, I have always kept what I truly felt about those people to myself and never told them EXACTLY how i feel about them in fear of not having those feelings returned. Keeping myself in a REALITY CHECK has helped me a lot when those relationships ended because somehow when i did keep my feelings hidden it did not hurt as much. In my first love I had let my feelings be known and in vain they were not returned with the same affection as I had hoped. So learning from that lesson my motto became to hide what i really felt.

 

But I am scared about tomorrow, if i ever meet the one i am truly meant to be with for life. Should I tell him about my break up about how i was in love and he didnt feel the same way even though he said he loved me and then he dumped me? Should i tell him that i was ever in love? Even if i fall in love with another person tomorrow should i tell him that i love him? I have learned over the years to keep my true feelings to myself as protection and I think this may jepordize my future relationships. I mean after all a person CAN SENSE that you are hiding your feelings and they may walk away from me. Or should I just tell them the truth About how I am now a ONCE BURNT TWICE SHY case I dunno what to do.

 

I dont understand how guys react to feelings of past loves on the girls part. Especially when it was a true love I mean how would a guy interpret my story of my x. Would he want me to tell him what happened, would he want me to just ignore it and not say anything? How would he feel that i was in an unrequitted love senario? How would his feelings change? Would he look at me as having baggage? Help!

[Slypknot]

It's kinda funny in that almost every relationship I've been in the girl has mentioned how badly she was hurt at one point or another by a past boyfriend.

 

I always saw it as a challenge. For a girl to say she was hurt by another man makes me want to show her that I am NOT that guy and can please her like no other man could. It's a challenge thing which invites me more than pushes me away.

 

Now if the girl starts throwing a lot of her past pain/distrust on me - that's another story. By you hiding your feelings, I think this is a good thing in the beginning. No reason to show your hand right away...keep things mellow and light and see how they go. Now if you CAN'T show your feelings that can be a serious problem for the future...cause you'll end up treating your partner the same way you were mistreated - by not returning the feelings they show you.

[Genesis]

I do not think so unless they ask. You will sound like you are still not over him. Which I do not think you are, or you would not be asking that question. When you put your past in the past, that is where it should stay. If he asks you , then you can tell him, but do not give him to many details. My mother did not tell my father that she was engaged in college to her high school sweet heart. Almost 33 years later, it really does not matter b/c my father was the man she wanted to marry and spend the rest of her life with. What differance does it make, if you where ever in love before. I have been hurt by my ex's (two relationships that lasted 4 years each) but, they are my past now. I already hurt one relationship b/c of the ghosts of my past. I do not plan on hurting any new relationships b/c of my baggage. You should not want to ruin any relationship b/c your ex dumped you.