Is this rude?

[Juliana]

Look, there is no right response to this.

 

She had a profile up that specified the exact opposite of what he was. Did he care? No. His first action was an insult: Contacting her when he knew that she didn't want his type.

 

So she didn't answer. And his repsonse? To demand she answer.

 

So she answered, and you all thought she was rude. I was very concerned that she wasn't rude enough. "Thank you" can be misinterpreted. "I'm sorry" can be misinterpreted.

 

And his response to her "rude" response? To insult her.

 

If someone contacts you and shows obvious disregard for who you are, what you want, and continues to contact you when you do not contact them, there is something wrong there. Your concern should not be whether or not you are hurting someone's feelings, when it is obvious they couldn't care less about what you want or think. Women are often harmed because they feel social pressure to "be nice."

 

It's comforting to imagine that everyone out there is more or less "normal," but that's not actually true. If you don't know the guy, you don't know what his motivations are, and you have no obligation to contact him even to tell him not to contact you. Or, as one of my ex's said, "Stay off the internet. It's full of crazy people. I should know, I'm one of them."

[Kevin T]

Look, there is no right response to this.

 

She had a profile up that specified the exact opposite of what he was. Did he care? No. His first action was an insult: Contacting her when he knew that she didn't want his type.

 

Shoot a man for trying, eh?

 

There's nothing wrong with him believing in himself and trying anyway. I have to give him credit for that! He tried, even knowing he would fail. That kind of reckless stupidity is to be commended.

[Ammy]

I hate that!! It always happens to me too.. losers (judegmental i know) and old people and other inappropriate people always respond to my profile too.. It actually makes me feel worse than getting no responses.. like why did that person actually think we'd make a good couple... am I overestimating myself..

 

As for older people, and people who clearly haven't read the profile it makies me mad too.. but I'd say just ignore it.. if he continues to msg then maybe just say "It's kind of you to send me a message but unfortunately you do not meet the criteria i was looking for, i wish you well in your search."

 

Ammy

[Ammy]

Oh and in addition to my previous post, on reading the whole conversation... Come on guys I don't think anyone was that rude in this situation.. Sure the reply could have been a little less harsh (although big deal, he left himself open for it by continuing to email someone who a) was not looking for someone like him, b) did not reply the first time. But anyhow his reponse was normal guy response.. not rude or scary either.. just plain irrelevant.. I'm guessing he thinks he's pretty "all that" and will brush this off and move on..

 

Don't stress!!

 

That said I do agree we should all be careful online, you do never know what ppl are capable of.. In future just ignore people like that, if they continually annoy you, either send a very short response of better still block them.

 

Hope this helps,

 

Ammy

[longhaircats]

I think you got lucky because this guy seems like a normal guy. If you are doing online dating, you better develope thicker skin to deal with this kind of situation. I have tried online dating for a bit, but decided not to because of this.

 

 

 

I did get emails from guys between 18-45 when I clearly stated in my ad that I was looking for a man in his 30s. They just gave it a shot, and there is nothing wrong with it.

 

Avoid any conflicts on online dating sites. This is for your safety!