Why did I go on his Flickr?

[bella321]

My no contact was going relatively well considering we work together. I had to ruin it by looking at his flickr photo stream. In a set labeled, "Another Day at Work" was a pic of him kissing a girl on the cheek (one of waitresses)" She looked so happy. Is he dating this girl? My stomach dropped. I thought he would have the consideration and respect for me to not date someone else at work since we both work there. It's my fault for checking out the flickr... I don't know why I would do that. We had a relatively amicable break up based on not wanting the same things for our future (I wanted marriage and family, he didn't feel he could balance those things with his career so he let me leave him) I can't stop fantasizing about him changing. But I know he never will. I just can't imagine loving someone as much as I love him.

[need2bme]

I cannot imagine loving someone else either, but then I remember all the times I have been broken up before. Maybe someone will come along.

 

Also, the kiss could just be harmless. He could have just been flirting. If I got the chance to kiss a pretty girl, I might put the pic up too.

 

I once told a friend of mine that I didn't want to take his truck, because I didn't want to wreck it, to which he replied, "then don't".

 

Get it? Maybe what happened is good, or not? You don't know, so don't assume.

 

As far wanting him to change, I think we all do that.

[Orlander]

We always tend to imagine the worst case scenario, Bella. Maybe she was just being polite, but really couldn't stand him.

 

My point is you don't know, but you do know that you need to keep off his flickr. If you don't it will only end up hurting you more, I promise.

 

 

Orlander

[vermilion]

I do the same thing with myspace- ugh, it's the WORST when I see him with some cute girl and I know that I brought it on my self because I shouldn't have looked.

 

Technology complicates things, huh?

[bella321]

Myspace is tough too, I totally check whenever I'm on if his friend count increases and then I try to figure out who he added and their relationship. I feel like such a stalker. However, even though looking at myspace and flickr hurts the same way breaking no contact does, he'll never know. However, I have to say that 3 months ago if I saw a pic of him kissing a girl on the cheek, I would have totally lost it. Today, it made me feel ill for a second and it passed and then I felt like "oh, well, I hope she doesn't want kids either, because if he didn't change for me, he definitely won't for her". Which is a sign that I've made progress into "Bitter/Numb" stage, which is a place where I feel a little more in control. In a few months, I'm moving to another city for a fresh start... so until then I'll just keep up the no contact (including e-stalking) and look hot at work Thanks, everyone for your responses, I really appreciate it!