what would you say?

[audrey]

i dont know if every one in a LDR feels the way i do. many times i feel guilty cause even i try all my best, i can't trust my partner as i'd like to do. he haven't given me reasons to not trust him, but it becomes hard when there are more than 6,000 milles away.

 

i'm so afraid that one day he will just dessapear, i mean that suddenly one day he stop calling me, and if i try to contact him he won't be there. also that distance could get things cold. i dont know if i can make it, but i really love him. i try to forget about it, im going to a gym in order to distract myself a little. anyway im still feeling this sometimes.

 

a few question for you there...is it hard for you to keep trusting even the distance and time? how you make it? would you be doing good if you feel you dont trust your bf/gf?

 

thanks a lot for your help

[Heretic]

Trust can be difficult in an LDR. You just have to keep trying. I'm not the best person to ask about this since I trusted and got burned in the end. That doesn't mean you shouldn't trust your SO. Nothing is more important then communication when you're having trust issues. Be keeping up with your communication you can alleviate some of the stress that's causing you to be distrustful.

 

One of the most important factors in a successful relationship is trust. If you cannot begin to trust your partner again you will have serious problems. People can sense when they aren't trusted. This makes them feel like they can't trust the person who doesn't trust them. Then the accusations start and the relationship plumets. If you want this to work you have to trust them.

 

I hope this helps.

[audrey]

thanks a lot Heretic, i like your advise. also i think you're right when your say people who i dont trust, they won't trust me and i dont want that. i really want to trust, but i'm just afraid that distance could get the relationshìp worn cause we can't keep contact farther than talking by phone. and time can also be unkind

 

anyway i'll try my best, and i hope soon all this will finish

thanks again.

[Joneysnai]

i have been with my boyfriend for 20 months now. he's in sweden and i'm in california. it's really really tough to be in this type of relationship and i never thought i could've survived for this long and it seems like our relationship is still being tested because he is going on a guys trip to australia for one month and thailand for another month. when we are together we are perfect, we cherish every moment we are with eachother but when we are apart we seem to bicker about the smallest things.

 

we both trust eachother but i think for us, we don't trust eachother enough. i've always said to myself if i don't trust my partner, there is no reason to be with him, but it doesn't work out that way. i know before i was in really bad relationships, i've been cheated on many times and so has he, in the past. i think that has a lot to do with whether u are able to trust your partner fully or not. as far as me and my boyfriend we always chat on msn everyday, and we get on skype for HOURS on end just talking about our day and things in general. he knows what i am doing, and i know what he will be doing. when we get home at the end of the day, we tell eachother about our day, and i think because we have such open communication, there is no room for doubts.

 

the distance doesn't make it easy at all because there's always the possibility of someone doing something and just not telling u, if u know what i mean. however, i think if two people really love eachother they need to learn to trust one another, specially in a LDR.

 

whenever the both of us have a hard time trusting eachother, we always talk about it, we bring up the situation and both figure out why we feel like we can't trust the other and get it solved. i don't know about him but it kills me inside when i have doubts about what he is doing and i usually am quick to get it resolved first and foremost.