Is she hinting at a threesome?

[letigr]

Hi,

 

I was wondering if someone might be able to decypher some things my partner has been saying as of lately.

 

I always knew my partner had a liking for other womens looks, but I always thought it was platonic... something as all women have, I suppose. She's on many occasions said little things like women are sexy and such.

 

But lately she's said some quite flat out frank remarks, which struck me at the time and made me think more deeply about, wondering if she is suggesting anything?

 

For example, not too long ago, she said she fantasized about sex with other women and the fantasy of me with another woman was sexy... but then said it wasn't something she'd want to act on, it was just the thought

 

I'm deeply in love with this woman. We've been together for so long and I want and she says she wants to share her life with me. It's a serious relationship. I've always had cautious feelings about threesomes, because I never really thought it was healthy for a relationship, but all guys will have to admit, the idea is a damn turn-on for our imagination. =P~

 

I'm not asking anything of her or expecting anything to ever happen. I would never want to jeopardize my relationship for something like this in a million years. But her comments were totally out of the blue and I'm just wondering if you think there might be something behind them? Or maybe is it just her being honest feelings, but also saying shes not interested in doing anything about it... or even just flirty or something?

 

im a bit confused

[BeStrongBeHappy]

if she's already told you they are fantasies, and she doesn't want to act on them, then i'd be very careful about trying to take it further or even indicating you'd like to pursue the idea... if she does bring it up again, you could ask her, non-judgementally, are you serious or is this just your fantasy?

 

but please be very careful about acting on this... bringing someone else into your sex life can open a Pandora's box of emotions for both people, and plenty of relationships have broken up over this if one or the other person feels too threatened by the experience, or it creates a breakdown in trust and a huge attack of jealousy. there's a long distance between fantasy and reality when it comes to certain things, and whatever thrill you get from it might be far overshadowed by the damage it could do to your relationship.

[letigr]

im fine with that. im only conused about her motivation for telling me. i mean, what did she want me to think, by telling me these things out of the blue?

[Underdelusion]

What does she say when you ask her: " Are you interested in experimenting with another woman?" "Would you feel comfortable sharing that with me or is this something you would prefer to do alone?"

 

That should get to the bottom PDQ.

 

As for "everyguysfantasy" - no, I have been involved in things such as these, and IMHO it's not the sex part that matters - the dynamics between intimate people can be so fascinating.

[ghost69]

i believe she is telling you this to see how you would react. i think she cares about you and wants to see how much you care about her. if being with another woman is something you'd go for, it implies that being with her isn't enough. my ex gf used to say things like that all the time. she would always tell me that she would want to hook up with another chick and me be there, but that i couldn't do the other girl, just her. i told her that she couldn't touch her either then. it would never happen though. too much jealousy would come into play after. a lot of couples or swingers that do these kinds of things have no self-esteem for their current relationship. it's as if their partner doesn't matter to them. yeah the 3some concept is cool in every guy's book and some women. this is something you do when you are young, single and don't care the outcome with either person as far as a serious relationship goes. my ex loved it when other women hit on me. she thought it was very flattering. i thought it was cool to watch guys hit on her. didn't bother me a bit. but hooking up with another, i wouldn't be cool with it. just think of it as if another guy hooked up with your gf. how would you feel after? women are much more jealous than guys....fact.

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[Dwayne Dibbley]

"the idea is a damn turn-on for our imagination"

 

Of course it is and she knows that, that's why she's saying these things, to get you hot and admire her as a sexual wild cat cos that also gives her a buzz. But believe me, the imagination is definitely where it should stay unless she sits you down over coffee and with a serious attitude expresses a desire to explore such areas, even then check it out deeply before you take a chance on having both barrels blow up in your face.