MrKadash Posted January 17, 2007 Share Posted January 17, 2007 Just curious how you feel after this scenario. You have shown some interest in a guy you've known for a few weeks and he is always very friendly and seems to go out of his way to talk to you whenever he is around. You see him at least once a week, and you have gone out once and had a seemingly decent time. On this particular day, however, he is around you for awhile but doesn't say two words to you for whatever reason. Not even a "hi" or "goodbye." What goes through your mind? And no, I haven't done that... Link to comment
flower99 Posted January 17, 2007 Share Posted January 17, 2007 what would go through my head - well first I would think 'he lost intrest in me' than, I would reassure myself and think of other more likely possibilities..such as he's probably having a rough day & isn't talkative. Which is when I would strike up conversation & see how he is Why do you ask??? Link to comment
hosswhispra Posted January 17, 2007 Share Posted January 17, 2007 Just curious how you feel after this scenario. You have shown some interest in a guy you've known for a few weeks and he is always very friendly and seems to go out of his way to talk to you whenever he is around. You see him at least once a week, and you have gone out once and had a seemingly decent time. On this particular day, however, he is around you for awhile but doesn't say two words to you for whatever reason. Not even a "hi" or "goodbye." What goes through your mind? And no, I haven't done that... What would I think? Something must be bothering/troubling him---better back off. He'll talk to me about it if he wants to and when he is ready. Link to comment
rocio Posted January 17, 2007 Share Posted January 17, 2007 I probably wouldn't even notice. And if I did, I would assume he has his own reasons and would pay more attention to me next time. I would only start to wonder about his feelings toward me if this happened frequently. why do you ask? Link to comment
coollady1957 Posted January 17, 2007 Share Posted January 17, 2007 Initially I would probably think that he was not interested in me. But on the other hand, I would possibly assume that he was bothered or preoccupied with something else on his mind. Out of curiosity, I wonder , why do you ask this question. ?? Link to comment
MrKadash Posted January 17, 2007 Author Share Posted January 17, 2007 It seems I'm the one that takes the bull by the horns. I've only known this girl three weeks, but she has always shown interest when I'm around and we enjoyed our date 10 days ago or so. But I'm the one who calls, I'm the one who initiates contact. I don't play games, but am considering acting like I don't care on Friday when I know I will see her again because all the initiating is getting old fast. I wouldn't consider this a relationship, so why the fuss on my part. I guess I want her to get the impression that I have other things going on (which I do) and my life doesn't hinder whether I talk to her or not. Someone give me the anti-stupidity pill please.... Link to comment
flower99 Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 but am considering acting like I don't care on Friday when I know I will see her again because all the initiating is getting old fast. Do it! I think that is a good plan. It leaves the ball in her court,allows her to 'take the bull by the horns'. If she wants you she will have to make a step...meets you have way! As well as you don't want start the relationship by you doing all the work, it sets the pattern for the entire relationship. You've shown interest, made the calls, took her on a date...now it's her turn to meet you half way. plus playing hard to get, acting like you don't care, can be a turn on for many women....wish you luck Link to comment
lvlyldy Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 I was kind of in that situation... i was dating a guy for a few weeks and everything was going well. I didnt want to come off as too needy/clingy so I tried to let him initiate things, and he did for awhile... calling me or talking to me whenever he was available at least once a day. A week and a half ago, I IMed him in the morning and I got no response. Later that night I did so again and no response. This continued for 2 more days, at which point I imed him telling him I wanted to know what was going on, and later that night I get an email breaking up with me. It was an awful experience, I was trying to learn to trust him (I came out of a bad breakup awhile back) and him just disappearing on me made me worry so much that he had lost interest in me. I was thrown into confusion debating whether something had happened to him/he was in a bad mood or whether he had lost interest. Games are not fun and I dont recommend them. I expect that if someone im seeing has a problem with something they TALK TO ME. If my guy had felt that way, I would have been more than happy to talk to him more... but I cant know unless he had told me! I didnt want to scare him away, and so I kept a step back... and I guess its good I did cause in the end he was a jerk in the way he left me. Link to comment
MrKadash Posted January 18, 2007 Author Share Posted January 18, 2007 Thanks for the replies. We're not in a relationship and I don't play games. I have only seen her a couple of times/week (non-date), and phone her maybe once other than that to chat. Link to comment
Portage Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 My advice - she knows you're interested. I'm assuming she is able to reach you if she needs/wants to. Let her take the initiative, your part is done. I hope she calls Link to comment
rosie76 Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 You say you don't play games but planning out things to do to give people a message instead of just saying what you mean is doing just that, as I see it, and it's open to misinterpretation. There are plenty of reasons she might not be initiating things - she might be coming off a string of men who acted into her and then cooled off when she reciprocated, maybe she's just shy, etc. If you're writing about this, you're probably interested in seeing her again so I'd say keep being friendly when you see her and - if you want her to reciprocate the initiation - say 'If you want to go out again some night, call me.' Link to comment
hosswhispra Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 I've only known this girl three weeks, but she has always shown interest when I'm around and we enjoyed our date 10 days ago or so. Why are you wanting to make a mountain out of mole hill? If she always shows interest when you're around, that's a good thing! And you said that you both enjoyed your date 10 days ago........ Maybe she's a girl that was raised in a home with traditional values--I know it's the 21st century--but yeah, there are some people who are/were raised in homes with traditional type values. Cut her a bit of slack......you've only known each other for 3 weeks! Get to know her more Link to comment
MrKadash Posted January 19, 2007 Author Share Posted January 19, 2007 Just an update.... I saw her this morning and we exchanged hello's. I didn't attempt futher conversation, and went about my business. She came up to me about 15 minutes later and asked if I had plans tonight, which I did, but I suggested tomorrow night -- she obliged. So I guess the sun does rise in the west once in awhile. Link to comment
Allie. Posted January 19, 2007 Share Posted January 19, 2007 hahah...actually, i'd think that you're prolly having a bad day or maybe losing interest...either one of the two....depending on my mood. Link to comment
flower99 Posted January 19, 2007 Share Posted January 19, 2007 Just an update.... I saw her this morning and we exchanged hello's. I didn't attempt futher conversation, and went about my business. She came up to me about 15 minutes later and asked if I had plans tonight, which I did, but I suggested tomorrow night -- she obliged. So I guess the sun does rise in the west once in awhile. Awww...Great!!! Have fun on your date Link to comment
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