Complete Honesty and Insecurities

[Goblin]

Hello guys.

 

I tell my girlfriend the names of whom I am with if I happen to be out with any girl coz of work or just catching ups with my buddies. I tell her where I go and I let her know when i reach home late largely because I am willing to commit and tell her everything.

 

She, on the other hand would just mention 'friend' and hardly say a name and when I remind her that if i can tell her details why cant she do the same? She would say that it doesnt mean I tell her everything she would do the same? I wonder if I should tell and expect her to be fair or I should just go with this attittude.

 

We both know our insecurities. Mine is when shes out without me when I am busy with work or training and hers when Im unable to spend time with her she would tell me shes out with some other guy to hide that 'neediness'. I think its right to make each other feel secured coz ive done my part and I think she should do the same.

 

Any suggestions on how I can handle such issues?

[Boughs]

We all use the same cards... that you can beat at but they have a "just as justifiable answer" which in my opinion is naive and rude. I find it generally more ethical when people do NOT play those kinds of games. They are stupid games, but, most play them... have to find ones that have the same mindset and aren't gonna use that card to get away with everything.

 

Anyways, back to the topic, my ex did the same thing, I never did figure out what to say... instead I had to catch her sneaking out one night and get the truth.

 

Stalkerish, but... I was right. Ironically that was an unethical choice in my eyes... but what is more right and what is more wrong... never a fine line. Just find your belief system and act on it. From my perspective, she is hanging out with guys and perhaps thinking that she could get with one of them... perhaps she is drinking/smoking with them and doesn't want you to know so you don't get worried... all in all you can't know. Its up to her to spill the truth... and asking her perpetually will only increase the seriousness and longevity of the lies/mystery. So best thing to do, is to not call/worry when she goes out without you. Let her tell you what she did, don't inquire