i feel so stupid....

[Jasrosy]

i was doing so good, but yesterday, i couldn't help it anymore, and decided to call my ex. i told him that i loved him, and that i can't forget about him. i told him to tell that he doesn't love and that there was no hope left for me. he said that i knew that he didn't love me, and that he wasn't going to repeat anymore because he hurts me, and he doesn't want to do it anymore. I asked him then to tell me that there was no hope for us left, so I could just leave him for good, then he said, he won't because he doesn't know what will happen in the future. He broke up with me, or said left me, because he fell in love with another girl he works with about six months ago, and i miss him a lot. I am 33 weeks pregnant, and i don't know what to do sometimes. The comversation, he kept asking about the baby, and he said, that i must forget him, I felt bad, and cried. Then the conversation ended, and he later sent a message, saying sorry, that his phone wasn't working. Then in the morning I checked his phone bill, i have his password, in the internet, after I called, he spent like two hours talking with the girl he works with. I feel so bad in that I know he doesn't love anymore, but then again, it was five year relatioship, and besides, we got married, and sometimes, I don't know what to do anymore.

[Boughs]

whew. I'm sorry... a lot is going on. Don't stalk him, do as he said, let go of him. Get comfortable for your child, find peace for the two of you, the third is not going to be there 100% so you need to expect him to do 0% of the work. He will not be there, move on.

 

Its always hard as everyone here says over and over again... but NC is the only way to heal.

[afonselaca]

I'm so sorry this is happening to you. Believe me when I say that I have walked in your shoes and I completely understand the feelings of abandonment and hopelessness. I was completely abandoned in early pregnancy and survived. You can too.

 

People will say things like, "oh, I'm sure he'll come around." They don't have any idea how to deal with your situation or feelings, so it is the best thing to say. Truth is that he has left you and you must be strong. You have to take extra special care of yourself and do what it takes to process your grief and let go of him.

 

Don't allow yourself to feel stupid. You aren't stupid. You are alone and trying to cope. No more phone calls until you can deal with him regarding the baby's needs without hurting for yourself. It takes time but you'll get there.

 

It is really hard but you must busy your mind with other things and focus on letting him go. It isn't fair and it is scary but you can do it. If you want to write back and forth with me, I'll help you get through this!

[audrey28]

jasrosy, i am sorry for the pain you are going through. i think in these trying times, we really can't think of anything else but the pain that we're feeling and the cause of it. weep if u must, but give yourself credit- you are a strong woman. you are not a victim. you will make the choice of letting go. it's going to be hard but we are here for you. do not call him anymore. concentrate on your life. love yourself. love your baby. it may seem hopeless now but this pain will pass eventually. you take care ok?

[Jasrosy]

thank you for all the support, I will do my best...although its really hard...