Love is a cycle !

[4answers]

The words of a song I have heard.

 

"Got to get back where I used to be, stop messing with her memory"

 

In other words, you were a whole person with a life before you met her, you are a whole person with a life now. That is why it is So So So important that you have a life outside of the relationship and that your SO adds to and compliments that life, so that if you part, you still have your life, all you have lost is the positive emotional rewards of A) being in a relationship. B) the emotional interest of someone who is of value to you.

 

So thereforeeee, once you have gone throught the heartbreak, ie the adjust ment to the loss of the emotional interest and loss of emotional benifits. 100% aided by No Contact. You are back to where you were.

 

WANTING SOMEONE SPECIAL IN YOUR LIFE....BUT NOT NEEDING IT, you will continue to live without a SO, but somtimes the want feels like a need.

 

(note: this is when you bump into your ex and they fancy you again!)..

 

So at this stage all you need to feel better is a relationship with another person who is of value to you.

 

ie. THE BEST WAY TO FALL OUT OF LOVE IS TO FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE ELSE.

 

Remember that what one girl has physically so has another. The only difference is how they treat you ! And lets face it, your ex did not treat you that well, because they did not consider your feelings enought to work throught the problems in the relationship, but instead put you through HELL!

 

Is that a selfish, person or WHAT !

[Vynde]

4answers,

 

That is very powerful, true and such a great way to look at it.

 

It seems I didn’t follow this at all and I really wish I did. I realize I was a whole person before I met her.. At some point along the way, I lost the "life outside my relationship" or my identity. I became dependant on my partner..which is why NOW, I having such a hard time.

 

Great insight, I will be following this advice next time around. Where were you six years ago! j/k Thank you. Great post.. This will help many people.

 

John

[JoeWho]

Yeah that was my biggest mistake also, losing myself in the relationship. At least I will not make that mistake in the future.

[wishiknew]

i always seem to make that mistake, invest too much emotionally and then when things fall apart it just hits you like a ton of bricks.

Right now i'm still trying to dig out from that pile of bricks. Good advice though.