confused about a guy... (LONG)

[confusedkid]

sorry if this turns out really long, but...

 

yeah so i'm new here and i'm just another 14 year old guy that's bi. there's this guy in my english class that i really dig who transferred into my class a couple months ago, but at that time i just thought of him as good-looking.

 

my crush on him probably started to develop around the end of november. we never talked at all, or really even acknowledged each other's existence until the dance at the beginning of december, where he squeezed my shoulder and smiled at me as we passed by in the huge mob of dancing kids haha.

 

then a little later he asked me on myspace (i friend requested him, by the way) for help on one assignment. the next class, we talked for the first time about the whole assignment and how our teacher screwed it all up for us. from there we started talking a little more every time we'd see each other in class.

 

then winter break came and he was the only thing on my mind. sadly that was when i saw that he had been flirting like crazy with this one girl on myspace. (hahaha, shut up.) as you could expect, this made me really jealous.

 

well then last week we got back from our break, and on wednesday (the first day we had english again) we talked to each other way more than we usually had done before. plus, we were making lots of eye contact too, and keeping it for quite a while. *sigh* his eyes are so * * * *ing beautiful...

then on friday it was super windy so i had my hood on, sitting on the front of the portables before class and waiting for him (man, i'm obsessed). the first thing i see him do off in the distance is stroke his hand through his hair (hmm, anyone he would want to look good for? ) and then he immediately looks straight at me, even though he's like 50 feet away. we just kind of stare at each other until he walks right up to me smiling, and complimenting my jacket. i stood up so it didn't seem awkward that i was at eye level with his * * * *, and then we started talking some. then he says something about how he just kissed a one girl (probably the one he was talking to on myspace, saying he owed her a new year's kiss) but it hurt his lips because he had just gotten stitches out of his lip from a basketball accident. another guy next to us then said something like that he should kiss me. (me: * * *?) the thing is, he goes, "ewww, no" but laughs/smiles at the same time. wouldn't most straight guys think it was disgusting and say it more aggressively?

 

well once we're inside the classroom, the other guy takes out a magazine that has a girl in a bikini on the cover. the guy i like then starts laughing because we were supposed to bring magazines for this works cited assignment thing, but...that's probably not what the teacher had in mind.

he then pretended to start wanking all over the magazine, so i felt like i was just another horny guyfriend to him.

 

and finally, today i passed him in the hall more than i have ever had before, but not once did he even seem to notice me then. but then again, he never really has before anyway. and in class, we didn't talk at all either. he seemed more interested in our teacher than in me. only sometimes he would glance at me, but for some reason i would keep avoiding his eyes whenever he looked at me. maybe i was nervous. near the end of class, we both locked eyes for a couple seconds, him giving me the most innocent looking (but somewhat blank) stare. i averted my eyes somewhere else again though. =/ i DID notice, however, that sometimes when he would turn around to talk to his friend on the b-ball team, he would glance at me for a second while he was talking to him. not sure if that meant anything either.

 

well after that whole incident of barely any action, i was feeling hopeless.

 

however, things seemed to turn totally around while going to my next class; cross country practice. i was waiting for my friends to come over to the normal meeting place outside for practice, and i see him walking by going to his basketball practice. of course, my eyes are following him the entire time. the suddenly, he turns (still walking) and looks at me straight in the eyes with that same stare for about 3 seconds, then looks forward again. but then he looks at me for about the same amount of time two more times, then doesn't look back once a fair distance away from me.

 

must say, one of the best feelings in the world.

 

 

so...i'm totally confused. what do you think? is it possible that he likes me at all? or is it all just wishful thinking?

 

*sigh*

[aymee_lee]

I really have no idea. He could like you, but then again, he could just want to be friends. If he's kissing girls, it sounds like he's straight. And if he's not, sounds like he's not willing to admit anything else at this point.

 

I'd just try and be friends with him. See what happens. If he's not gay/bi, you can at least have him as a friend, rather than come on strong and have him freak out.

 

Sorry, that's all I can say at this point!

 

 

Good luck x

[Imaginary]

I'm there too, that guy that is sometimes obviously straight, but still says and do things (sometimes not obviously joking) that make you doubt completely. So horrible.

 

Anyway, I suggest you wait it out. Some people feel like bursting, and confess their feeling and end up straining a friendship. Because you are not very confident and sure, and you can't tell either way, wait until it becomes clearer, try to pick up more hints. Keep the eye contact going, and if you are brave(ish), start touching lightly and see how he reacts.

[kadvati79]

I can tell within 5 minutes of conversation (20 minutes if visual clues only, ie. accross a bar) if somebody wants to sleep with me or not.

 

The entire key is escalating risk through a solid bait and thorough review of their reaction. Its the same with finding out any information, for example if someone is lying. You slowly nibble at what you are trying to find out, and watch the reactions. People that will never outright tell you something, will often give you small pieces of that without thinking. Especially through body language.

 

The problem is, the true analytical mind becomes clouded by emotion easily... and you start to look at individual aspects of what they do and attempt to justify them for your cause. What you need to do is set bait, and review his reaction. If he takes the bait, then you try something a bit stronger.

 

What you want to look for is patterns of behavior. A lot of people think scratching the nose or covering the mouth slightly indicates someone is lying... but it can actually mean many things. They could be lying, or uncomfortable, or they might be worried they have bad breath, or they might just have an itchy nose! The key is matching up with other cues, are they sweating on the forehead in a relatively normal room (particularly the temples or hairline), etc... etc...

 

The above poster is right, the eyes are nearly always the best bait to start from. Its my usual key for working out how interested someone is. Although my preferred method in training was to do it online, as I find people tend to give much more away through the computer (particularly using suggestive-yet-netural language thats totally easy to read).

 

Okay, you're fourteen. I'm probably talking another language.

 

Here's the best tip: Don't be like me. Leave the mystery in it.