sorry if this turns out really long, but...
yeah so i'm new here and i'm just another 14 year old guy that's bi. there's this guy in my english class that i really dig who transferred into my class a couple months ago, but at that time i just thought of him as good-looking.
my crush on him probably started to develop around the end of november. we never talked at all, or really even acknowledged each other's existence until the dance at the beginning of december, where he squeezed my shoulder and smiled at me as we passed by in the huge mob of dancing kids haha.
then a little later he asked me on myspace (i friend requested him, by the way) for help on one assignment. the next class, we talked for the first time about the whole assignment and how our teacher screwed it all up for us. from there we started talking a little more every time we'd see each other in class.
then winter break came and he was the only thing on my mind. sadly that was when i saw that he had been flirting like crazy with this one girl on myspace. (hahaha, shut up.) as you could expect, this made me really jealous.
well then last week we got back from our break, and on wednesday (the first day we had english again) we talked to each other way more than we usually had done before. plus, we were making lots of eye contact too, and keeping it for quite a while. *sigh* his eyes are so * * * *ing beautiful...
then on friday it was super windy so i had my hood on, sitting on the front of the portables before class and waiting for him (man, i'm obsessed). the first thing i see him do off in the distance is stroke his hand through his hair (hmm, anyone he would want to look good for? ) and then he immediately looks straight at me, even though he's like 50 feet away. we just kind of stare at each other until he walks right up to me smiling, and complimenting my jacket. i stood up so it didn't seem awkward that i was at eye level with his * * * *, and then we started talking some. then he says something about how he just kissed a one girl (probably the one he was talking to on myspace, saying he owed her a new year's kiss) but it hurt his lips because he had just gotten stitches out of his lip from a basketball accident. another guy next to us then said something like that he should kiss me. (me: * * *?) the thing is, he goes, "ewww, no" but laughs/smiles at the same time. wouldn't most straight guys think it was disgusting and say it more aggressively?
well once we're inside the classroom, the other guy takes out a magazine that has a girl in a bikini on the cover. the guy i like then starts laughing because we were supposed to bring magazines for this works cited assignment thing, but...that's probably not what the teacher had in mind.
he then pretended to start wanking all over the magazine, so i felt like i was just another horny guyfriend to him.
and finally, today i passed him in the hall more than i have ever had before, but not once did he even seem to notice me then. but then again, he never really has before anyway. and in class, we didn't talk at all either. he seemed more interested in our teacher than in me. only sometimes he would glance at me, but for some reason i would keep avoiding his eyes whenever he looked at me. maybe i was nervous. near the end of class, we both locked eyes for a couple seconds, him giving me the most innocent looking (but somewhat blank) stare. i averted my eyes somewhere else again though. =/ i DID notice, however, that sometimes when he would turn around to talk to his friend on the b-ball team, he would glance at me for a second while he was talking to him. not sure if that meant anything either.
well after that whole incident of barely any action, i was feeling hopeless.
however, things seemed to turn totally around while going to my next class; cross country practice. i was waiting for my friends to come over to the normal meeting place outside for practice, and i see him walking by going to his basketball practice. of course, my eyes are following him the entire time. the suddenly, he turns (still walking) and looks at me straight in the eyes with that same stare for about 3 seconds, then looks forward again. but then he looks at me for about the same amount of time two more times, then doesn't look back once a fair distance away from me.
must say, one of the best feelings in the world.
so...i'm totally confused. what do you think? is it possible that he likes me at all? or is it all just wishful thinking?
*sigh*
