Advices on how to get over her...

[justMe]

Hi all. I've posted here days ago about my situation. but i guess i'll just make a brief about it for some of you who haven't know. There's this girl I liked for 2 years now but she doesn't have any feelings for me, eventhough we're quite a friend. We practically see each other everyday, basically we were in the same gang of friends.

 

I've tried my luck, but got rejected with the reason she wasn't ready. and so i told her that I would wait and hope that one day when she's ready, we would still be close enough to start something. We used to be very close, but things changed when I expressed my feelings for her. At times when i think about it, I try not to regret that i did. its just that i took a risk and had negative results, hehe.

 

But the problem now is that, I have this feeling that there's someone else she likes out there, because one night when we chat, she suddenly became very unhappy, and told me it was concerning some particular person. It was any normal person's instinct to think that it involves someone she likes. Well, Its not Me, that's for sure, how sad. hehe...

 

Oh well, the thing is, the advice everyone's giving me, to move on in life and there's many other girls out there who I deserve to be with. Anyone knows it's easier said that done when you like someone who doesn't have any feeling for you and u've to 'move on'. Most importantly is time, after a certain period of time, most will 4get about the feeling and be able to move on finally.

 

the big problem for me here is that I've this big bad examination coming up on me, within 2 months' time. I seem to hurt myself internally... i keep thinking about this 'particular' person she mentioned about. all those kinds of things most who're in my situation would think. and with this, I can't seem to be able to concentrate well in whatever I do. So here i ask for advice... on what I should do...? I really really wanna get great grades in this exam, hehe. I did try to forget about her in the past 2 years... i'm a failure so far.

[Mar]

Hon, no one can advise you on how to heal your heart or your mind, that has to come from you. Yes, you should move on, but as you said, in each instance it's easier said than done, the heart doesn't understand these rationaizations, it just knows it HURTS. But the best thing I've always found (and I sound like a parrot in saying this, since I say it all the time) is to try to do other things to distract yourself. Eventually you'll be ready to let her go, it just takes time. Just remember that your future is what's important, and that these exams will get you a better future the better you do on them. What's more important, making strides towards future successes or this girl? Obviously, your personal growth. Good luck, and hang in there....it WILL get better, the heart's just stubborn sometimes and doesn't know when to let go.

[DoctorWu]

JustMe... I definitely feel your pain because I'm going through the exact same thing. You've replied to my post on this subject and after some thinking I want to reply to this with some new thoughts.

 

Unfortunately, we both are seeing our relationships with these women through blinders which impairs our view of reality. A perfect example of this is the girl in my situation is on vacation and will be returning on Monday. Even though I'm not dating her, I have this nagging feeling that she will come back tell me all about some new guy she met... blah, blah, blah. Of cousre if that does happen, I envision that my heart will go into a deeper tailspin and I won't be able to recover. Could that actually happen? Maybe. Should I worry about it? I'm beginning to think the answer is "No". I can't predict the future but I can see the present...

 

We both have to accept that these women don't see us the way we see them. Once that is done, you can decide whether or not she was worth the emotional effort. All of this will take time, as there is no quick fix to stuff like this. I just hope that when we finally wake up, we will like what I see.

 

Hope this helps! DW

[Amberfire]

Oh dear,

Dearest Justme,

Honey you are no failure, we all had heart break at one time or another, but if they didn't happen how could we move on to the bigger and better and more deserving of you time. Never settle for anything less than the best. If you linger over a lost love or possible lost love, it was never meant to be and if you continue to linger on about a person then you are not open to let the right person into your life. Never take anything personally because chances are, they never mean to say it.

Yes I know it hurts but it's the risk we take to find love, some times you win, sometimes you lose but you ALWAYS get back up again and again.

Be well,

Amberfire

[justMe]

thanks for the reply from botha you.

 

hehe... oh well, i guess these things just happens. I actually felt kinda better somehow when I made my post. I guess i needed to say out things that i want to say inside of me but there's no one that i can/am willing to talk about it cause it kinda of makes me a loser. hehehe.

[justMe]

thanks amberfire too... hehe, just read your post when i sumbitted mine thanking DW and Mar. I'd just get myself more occupied then usually and do my best in life.

 

justMe