Need help. Posted this in another thread, but...

[need2bme]

I wanted to ask for advice here too and I am about to leave on a plane to see her. So,...

 

I am here to admit something. I was with the ex and cried and cried and posted here about the breakup (even though I knew it to be the best thing to do). Then, I met the girl at the club and that lasted all of 3 weeks. I had totally given up on the ex and was pining over the fling. Now (and this is where I come clean) this past weekend, I saw the ex again, after a few months. A lot of the feelings came back for me. I am looking in a lot better shape now and she was impressed. She said all the feelings came back for her too.

 

So we did the talking, laughing and hugging (she was not hugging and letting go-she was hugging and holding), some hand holding, etc. I was complimenting her on how her body looked (she had gained a little weight and was feeling bad (probably cause I lost so much). She did look good though...

 

I talked to her for a long time. I instigated it and she wasn't sure where her heart was anyway. Also, she knows me and the feelings did come back. I have the power over her and she is my Kryptonite. I told her that if she had not decided in her heart that she was with him, then she is fine.

 

Later, I put my hand on her heart and asked if she knew in there, that she wanted him. She replied yes, that her heart did. She then pointed to her head and said but in here I am all messed up.

 

I miss her and want to tell her how I feel. She has been responsive to texts and calls lately, but I can feel she is holding back. I don't want to be Mr. Familiar or Friend. Also, I don't want to stand in her way, if this guy is "the one". I only told her the parts about him being the one, to make her feel better and I held back my feelings. Is this good?

 

Should I be telling her how I feel about her? Should I just stay away and let things run their course. I just want her to be happy. I have been thinking about it this week and it is killing me, but I can't tell her that. I have been wanting to throw up, for the last 3 days. I am glad she can talk to me, but why tell me those things?

[AwdreeHpburn]

dude...need2bme -

 

this sounds totally screwed up but easy 'nuff to rememdy.

 

Bow out.

 

Back off.

 

Stay away.

 

Give her the space and time to make up her mind. Leave that wonderful time where it was so that it will always be what it was, "wonderful"........ and run.

 

If she chases, so be it., but if not, there's your answer.

 

Leave it be is my advice.....

[bigheart09]

She sounds like she is confused with her feelings between you and the new guy. You need to back away until she figures things out, because you dont want to get in the middle of their relationship. You might just end up getting hurt again.

If she decides she wants to be with you then she needs to come to you when she is not with someone else.

[Mrs Elliott Smith]

She IS confused. Don't pressure her. Leave her alone and let her decide for herself. As someone else had mentioned, just wait it out and see if she comes back to you. If she does, great. If not, then move on (and don't wait TOO long).

[need2bme]

Unfortunately I have to get things out of our place for the next few weekends and to be honest, I just did not have the guts this weekend, to ask her not to be there. I need her help going through stuff anyway. I have been really good and have not tried anything. Also, other than explaining how I felt, that I did care for her (trust me, I did not get sappy) and letting her know that part of caring for her, means I need to back off and let her have her life so that she can be happy, even if that means with someone else.

 

She has been spending time with me and talking with me, putting her head on my shoulder, holding my hand, etc. I don't want to pull away, but I keep it real innocent.

 

Today, she called me her "best friend" which was a little weird. Also, she has mentioned the new guy once. Ya know, I am taking it easy. I keep telling myself that there is no reason to look for pain, as I already know how she feels. I don't think I can be friends right now ad I told her that, because we are not in the same place right now.

 

Besides, I keep telling myself that if she comes back and if I take her back, I want it to be because we have changed and we are really going to try...

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Yes, she absolutely, positively cheated on her boyfriend. And, even after that incident she is

putting her head on my shoulder, holding my hand, etc.

 

Never mind being confused, she also doesn't seem to have any scruples. Walk away from her, she is trouble. I am sure her boyfriend would be very upset to know how she was carrying on with you and being very touchy feely with you.

[rsxguy520]

honestly dude, walk away! your actually setting yourself up. she sounds terribly confused with her feelings. i in a somewhat same situation, except i haven't bumped in my ex in that last couple of months. i know if i saw her, and she had the same response as your ex, i wouldn't give in. your just going to get hurt in the end. its best if you stay away from it..if she comes back to you, great...if not, then you can continue on with your life.

[need2bme]

So now I have nothing to do, except sit and try to hold it together, wait for this weekend to arrive so I can get my heart punched out and wonder why I am feeling like such a child. How do you stop from feeling like this? I feel like I am spiraling out of control.

 

How can she keep it together and all I want to do is run from everything?