I So Badly Want to be Super Skinny...:[

[run_little_rabbit]

Being skinny is over-rated.

I'm 5'10, 130 lbs, size 6 jeans. My hip bones stick out like crazy. I can always see my ribs. Also, I might as well not even have boobs. lol

I don't look sickly, and I work out enough to stay toned. But I have always wanted more meat on my bones and I hate when people ask me if I've lost weight. I'm 23 but think I look 17.

 

You sound like you're healthy. Keep it up and be proud of what you have!!

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

Me too, and I'm heading towards it.

 

But I doubt I'll be happy when I get there. I wasn't happy last time at 115lbs or lower and 5ft 6ins when I starved myself into a seizure and I had constant arguments w ith people who told me how sick I looked, and I went yellow through malnourishment.

 

But I'm doing it all over again, I understand the allure of being TRES thin.

[Juliana]

Yes, being yellow, tres chic...

 

I've been super-thin. It's not hard. The difficulty is that you don't think as clearly when your brain is starving. Pretty and dumb? I have pictures of myself taken when I was at my thinnest, and I'm ashamed of them now.

 

Size nine is healthy. Size 0 is a walking coma, imo.

[itsallgrand]

At 16 your body is still growing! Whoa whoa. Your BRAIN is growing.

 

Starve yourself - you will be literally starving your brain. That is scary, isn't it?

 

I don't know what you have available in your area, but Shes2smart had great advice with going to see someone NOW. A nutritionist, a therapist, someone who can help get you out of these patterns before you have done major damage to your body.

 

You mentioned you were overweight as a kid. So, there are probably a lot of lingering bad-habits (especially thoughts and misconceptions about how food works and what your body is all about).

 

Resolve to fix this where it is at. I can guarantee you 100% that the problem is not your body.

Maybe it is near impossible for you to believe that right now: but take the leap of faith to at least consider that it might be true. To at least test it out.

 

hugs.

 

p.s. How are you doing? Have you had some decent meals since your post?

[starburst_eryn]

thank you all so much for your advice and support.

 

i've been reading through your replies these past couple of days and really reflecting on them, and i've come to realize so much.

 

what's made me want to be soo skinny are those 6' tall supermodels and being able to see their ribcages and so desperately wanting to look like that because i see that as feeling beautiful and not only that but just being in high school where everyone is judged and some guys don't want to go out with me because i do have curves and i'm not a petite little female. i have so much more to offer with my curves, i have a beautiful mind and spirit.

 

but i realize now that it doesn't take a size 0 to be beautiful or have guys want to go out with you because i love my curves, i love being able to wear a pair of jeans and have hips and wear a top that shows some of my meat and that guys are so immature at my age and someone special is going to come along and love my curves.

 

i was just tripping out because i had a really bad case of guy rejection that day.

 

eating healthy wouldn't hurt me and that's what i'm gonna do, but there's no way in hell i'm ever going to be a size 0, i love my 9.

 

thank you all so much for you support and advice

[starburst_eryn]

and yes i started eating again yesterday