Dealing with his ex

[Trishy]

So here is the issue that I deal with. My boyfriends ex girlfriend. Here is why. She puts up a picture on her profile for people to talk about him. So I simply wrote her an email asking her if she can take the photo down because it's ridiculing him and it's not like he does it to her. So she ends up posting my email in a blog for ALL of her friends to make fun of me. So far there are 33 comments from people making fun of me over a stupid email that was private and addressed to her personally. It pisses me off and my boyfriend doesn't stand up for me!!!! He says he wants to say something after he cashes a couple of checks that she owed him. But by that time it will be too late and forgotten about on his part. But I am sure she will go on and live her life talking about me to all her little friends. The worst part is, I live in Rhode Island. The SMALLEST STATE!!!! Which means the possibilities of me running into this is very likely. I don't know what to do. I want my boyfriend to stick up for me seeing that I am his current love. I'm not asking him to tell her off or anything...but to SIMPLY stick up for me!!! I am going crazy over here. I don't know what to do. Someone please give me some helpful advice about this to help calm me down.

 

Thank you

[amtjrtcet]

I understand your frustration, and I know you only emailed her to defend your boy friend, but it wasn't really your place to do that. I mean, if she's set up a picture of him for people to make nasty comments, didn't you think she might find someway to ridicule you?

 

Now as for him sticking up for you, he should.....but let him cash those checks-it just takes a trip to the bank, so why hasn't he done that already?

But still, hate to say it but you kinda set yourself up here. Just remember that by letting her get to you and cause problems between you and your boyfriend she's winning, you're giving her the power.

[Trishy]

I understand your frustration, and I know you only emailed her to defend your boy friend, but it wasn't really your place to do that. I mean, if she's set up a picture of him for people to make nasty comments, didn't you think she might find someway to ridicule you?

 

Now as for him sticking up for you, he should.....but let him cash those checks-it just takes a trip to the bank, so why hasn't he done that already?

But still, hate to say it but you kinda set yourself up here. Just remember that by letting her get to you and cause problems between you and your boyfriend she's winning, you're giving her the power.

 

Yeah, I have thought about it. That I set myself up for it. But, I am slow and I don't think about things before I do it. I say before I think. If you get what I mean? It's hard to keep back right away. Instead I just shoot off mental ammunition like crazy! It sucks. I dunno, I guess I did get myself in a pile of sh*t here. But I am just going crazy! I just want her to go away. I want her out of our lives. I want her to take off the blog she posted making me look like an a**hole. It's not fair. I don't do that to her!! Ugh..my brain feels like it's going to explode. I just want her thought, picture and crap out of my brain!

[amtjrtcet]

I know you're pissed and its driving you nuts, but don't react to her. Thats what she wants. She sounds really immature, and if her friends are making fun of the blog, then they must be immature too. What are they like 14?

It will blow over, everything does. Just focus on you and your b/f and Christmas, and good stuff.

Punch something if you need to-not a person. Work out, get out some of that anger. It will be fine. Take a deep breath.

[Trishy]

I know you're pissed and its driving you nuts, but don't react to her. Thats what she wants. She sounds really immature, and if her friends are making fun of the blog, then they must be immature too. What are they like 14?

It will blow over, everything does. Just focus on you and your b/f and Christmas, and good stuff.

Punch something if you need to-not a person. Work out, get out some of that anger. It will be fine. Take a deep breath.

 

I know...that is what I am trying to focus on. It's just so hard cause I THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK all the time. It drives me insane. Do you think it would be fair if I posted a blog on my profile that stuck up for myself? Or should I just throw that idea right out the window. I mean it would be on my profile, and I won't tell them about it. They can see it if they look at my profile. But at least I will be justifying my actions. So that I don't look like a total idiot?? What do you think?

[Bethany]

So I simply wrote her an email asking her if she can take the photo down because it's ridiculing him and it's not like he does it to her. So she ends up posting my email in a blog for ALL of her friends to make fun of me.

 

Never give your 'enemy' something they can use against you. I hate to say it but you shouldnt have stuck up for him, he's big enough to fight his own battles. Seems he knows exactly what he is doing so there is/was no need to interfere on his behalf.

 

You are just showing her that it's getting to you, don't do that again. You already have the upper hand and what she wants, you don't have to do anything but smile, be happy together and put this behind you both.

[Iggy5129]

The reason she did this was to get a reaction out of the both of you. Well, it worked. You shouldn't have said anything, you shouldn't have let her know that it bothers you. It's just a stupid blog and people that you don't even know or like, it shouldn't matter what they think. I say just let it go and be happy with your bf...it's really not worth worrying about because in the end she is the one who looks dumb and immature.

[Trishy]

Never give your 'enemy' something they can use against you. I hate to say it but you shouldnt have stuck up for him, he's big enough to fight his own battles. Seems he knows exactly what he is doing so there is/was no need to interfere on his behalf.

 

You are just showing her that it's getting to you, don't do that again. You already have the upper hand and what she wants, you don't have to do anything but smile, be happy together and put this behind you both.

 

It sucks cause I just say before I think! My mouth reacts quicker than my brain! It is my total downfall! But you are right! Thanks for the input

[Trishy]

The reason she did this was to get a reaction out of the both of you. Well, it worked. You shouldn't have said anything, you shouldn't have let her know that it bothers you. It's just a stupid blog and people that you don't even know or like, it shouldn't matter what they think. I say just let it go and be happy with your bf...it's really not worth worrying about because in the end she is the one who looks dumb and immature.[/quote

 

You are right. I have been trying to avoid it and I try not to look at her profile. But sometimes I do, cause I get so bored and I start to think about it. But for the past few days I havn't looked at it at all. Til today, which is what brought up this post. Cause it was bothering me hardcore At first I was so paranoid about them getting back together. Cause he left her for me. But now I am not paranoid that he will leave me. But I still like to see what she says, cause sometimes she talks about him in her profile. So she has a tracker on her profile...and she sees I visit her profile...and she calls me a "sl*t and a stalker*!! I never ever ever put anything about her on my profile. EVER!!! Now I want to...but I won't because I know that I am the better person for not feeding into her crap.

 

Thanks for the input

[Trishy]

I understand your frustration, and I know you only emailed her to defend your boy friend, but it wasn't really your place to do that. I mean, if she's set up a picture of him for people to make nasty comments, didn't you think she might find someway to ridicule you?

 

Now as for him sticking up for you, he should.....but let him cash those checks-it just takes a trip to the bank, so why hasn't he done that already?

But still, hate to say it but you kinda set yourself up here. Just remember that by letting her get to you and cause problems between you and your boyfriend she's winning, you're giving her the power.

 

 

BTW....she took down that blog FINALLY. I just stood back and didn't do anything...maybe she finally realized that her blog looked immature. But she still talks about me in her about me section. Which whatever I don't care about...BUT...at least she doesn't have a bunch of her friends talking about me anymore online. Maybe they still do in person. But as long as I don't know about it lol