mixed emotions this season.

[deejay74]

hi everyone on enotalone. i hope all of you are doing well and those of you who've recently had their heartbroken, i have all of you in my thoughts.

 

i love this site as it's a place where i can get my thoughts out anonymously and get honest input. i have been posting on here for almost exactly 1 year and i owe a lot to this site for my personal growth over this time, especially when it came to my heartbreaking relationship.

 

the christmas season usually puts me in a better mood. but this year, i feel really melancholy about it. it just feels like another day coming this time around.

 

i think a lot of my attitude towards christmas this year is due to the fact that i am unemployed and can't afford to buy anyone in my family any gifts. the one bright side is i am going back home today to be with them for the holiday.

 

the only other reason i can find is that i am single but i was with my ex gf this time last year. it's not really her i miss, it's the relationship and the feeling of being with someone i love (besides my family which is different) on chirstmas. i guess a small part of me misses her but i have always wanted a GF over the holidays and i have only had this happen a handful of times. oh well. i just hope i don't do something stupid over the holiday like sending my ex a "Merry Christmas" text message.

 

i am also going to be reminded about the day i got dumped which, for me, is one of the most emotionally painful experiences i've had in recent years. it happened on 12/30 and although i am quite happy that this terrible year is almost over, that day coming up is still a reminder of what i went through.

 

so, i am really indifferent to christmas this year. i kind of wish the day would hurry up and be over with. but i will do my best to keep positive and to just enjoy the company of my friends and family without thinking about this time last year or to dwell on the negatives. let's hope i can.

 

well, i may not be able to visit this site for a while, so i hope everyone here has a safe, happy, holiday!

[robowarrior]

That's definitly a wrong attitude you got there. You see life is what you make of it, wether its christmas or any other given day of year. Seasonal depression isn't uncommen, you probably would have wanted to spend your time with that someone special that you love. However lets face that reality that life is what you make of it, and that the person you think is special isn't there for you during this season. Is that a reason to put your life on a halt, or to dismiss the christmas spirit? No no a thousand times no. During this time of year, people are reminded to be kind to eachother, its not about all those greedy people you see buying presents for themselves purely out of consumerism.

 

Its about that kind act of love that you show for someone else. Any small act of love is great , and grasps the TRUE meaning of Christmas, namely where we remember to be kind and loving to others. If we have this kindness in our hearts, then it can be christmas every day. Remember its about the giving that truelly holds the blessing, not the receiving.

 

Love is a gift in itself.