porn was negative

[whenamansloveisreal]

When Porn Goes Mainstream - switch to erotic

 

When it comes to women and porn, females today are actually and subtly nudged to have an approval of porn, and is blanketed around the notions of sexual empowerment. That really is a dis-service and a way that men can use to construct the female sex life along the same lines men do.

 

For me the key to having porn as an occasional accessory in a relationship is for the activitiy t be agreeable and seductive to both partners and for material to be "erotic" rather than "pornographic."

 

Porn is objectifying and derogatory while erotica depicts mutually satisfying sex between equal partners. Most view using it as part of a healthy, secure sex life and it should be with the inclusion not the exclusion of your partner.

Now the question often asked is this, how would looking at two other people having sex spark any desire from a man to a women? For me, that was the main reason i wanted to do that in the first place - See the 'spark' for me was seeing her excited, being open enuff with me to show that.

 

However when couples do not communicate with each other about sensitive issues relating to sexuality, the viewing of porn will destroy a relationship.

Watching porn did not harm me or want to act out things I saw but it my watching did effect how my wife viewed me during initimate moments - I know once she told me it felt like i was 'not there' - in order words 'acting out the porn script - and that was extremely hurtful to me because i had never been anything but with her in the moment. And because I think intimacy, passion, and sexuality is a huge part of a successful marriage and that sex should be enjoyable not something negative, I vowed to never have porn in my life again. I believe that for the brief time watching porn was in our life it did extreme harm to how she viewed me and made her turn negative towards sex and in fact, porn did more harm to her than i because suddenly she saw me wanting just a quick f-ck, when she always knew that

i am a romantic and would never use sex for the sake of sex. So my wife and i need some counselling on this issue because if she is ever to love me again she must understand these words and let us communicate and not hide from these things.

[2tragic]

my -ex did not like erotic porn. only the "objectifying" kind. That is one of the major problems with it.....it's like marijuana is the gate way drug, well. "girls gone wild is like the gateway porn.

 

Once you've seen it, you 're bored with it and need something more naughty, and then something more dark, and then something more kinky and so on....

 

what are your thoughts?

[whenamansloveisreal]

well, seeing that this is the Donahue show, i guess you could say i found a couple of 'objectifying' videos worth sharing. There were only two I would have kept and passed on to Uncle Lurkeo tho - one was the only one I wanted the ex to watch with me and i chickened out [wonder if she remembers] and the others were simply ones i wanted to see what she felt about them. For the most part it is extremely difficult to find anything worth while and rarely approaching reality. I have never found the women in fake sex attractive but I do enjoy hearing a normal woman have an orgasm - music to my ears i tell ya - SO SHOOT ME!

[dogheadma]

my -ex did not like erotic porn. only the "objectifying" kind. That is one of the major problems with it.....it's like marijuana is the gate way drug, well. "girls gone wild is like the gateway porn.

 

Once you've seen it, you 're bored with it and need something more naughty, and then something more dark, and then something more kinky and so on....

 

what are your thoughts?

 

In my experience, no. I generally tend to use porn more when I'm single than when I'm in a relationship just because I find it to be emotionally and physically safer and more convenient.

 

Although when I'm in a relationship, I may use it on occasion if I'm just in the mood to just get the job done real quick.

 

But for me, I don't find it to have an addictive quality.

[whenamansloveisreal]

I Prefer To Use Porn Exclusively During Rough Patches In A Relationship So My Gf Will Find Me Disgusting And Leave And I Can Finally Get The Remote Controlback And Stop Watching 'what Not To Wear And Dawg The Booty Hunter'

[2tragic]

I felt like I couldn't turn him on anymore with out bringing another woman into our bed. It crushed our sexlife. Drained out all of the joy.

 

He said that jerking off to porn kept his mind off sex while he was in public and at work. And that ''actual sex" was something that we should only do on a special occasion. So I laid in bed lonely while he sat accross the hall on the computer.

 

When I argued and said it didn't seem right, he said that having sex everyday was ridiculous "like using my body to jerk him off".

 

I think he had it backwards.

[whenamansloveisreal]

order in the court! judge! where is this cad so he can defend himself against such slanderous claims. no man would ever say that - this is heresay and defamation! will women sink to lower depths! sigh, faint

[2tragic]

he did say that.

and it hurt like hell. I am 26 years old, I am in just as good of shape as the pornstars....I am never gonna be as sexy ever again.

 

And he chose them over me. Night after night.

 

What was his problem.. Do you think he is gay and just looking at the guys..?

 

Do you think he is a woman-hater and just gets off on seeing them degrade themself?

[whenamansloveisreal]

wow....i am sorry. i really didn't think anyone would say something like thaty

 

my apologizes

[2tragic]

so it goes to show....

 

women like me and your wife are affected in a negative way by porn. albeit our circumstances have nothing in common.

 

you may want to use it very lightly if you want to prolong the happiness in your relationship.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

Porn makes me suicidal and it isn't even an issue in my relationship. Any theories there?

[2tragic]

That's the saddest thing about porn and just the sex industry in general, prostitutions, strippers....

 

A lot of those girls were victims of child abuse and taught to see themselves as sex objects as children. Growing up they were probably promiscuous and ostracized because of it. As adults their self esteem is so weak they can't make it out there is the cold, tough competition. But in this society where everybody wants to update, outperform, measure up and show up in style, they have to find a way to measure up and earn the money that will buy them the things to placate their ego and drown their misery.

 

And the men sit there and watch it and jerk off. I feel just like you when I think about it.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

..........I hadn't even factored their childhoods into it I expect some of them came from "OK families" and just had the misfortune to be urmm misguided, but its probably a major..well..problem.

 

I feel very shortsighted, thank you for writing that.