I need some advice ladies, what do you all think?

[thescrubby1]

Ok, I am a former Marine and I was stationed in Hawaii. While there I met and married the most amazing woman ever. After honorably finishing my contract I chose to return home to Utah. My ex was from Hawaii and was hesitant about moving away from her family. So I left first to give her some time with her family. While I was home in Utah I was not working for awhile and moved back in with my father. I didn't want my wife to struggle with me because it was bad for awhile, so I asked for a divorce. She did not want a divorce and flew down here the day after I told her to try and change my mind. I didn't but promised her that once I got a job and was back on my own two feet that I'd come and get her.

 

Fast forward to a year later. We've kept in touch and I've since found a good job. However right before I got the job, about two weeks prior she started seeing someone else. This was about 5 months ago. We still talk and right now she just wants to be friends. I still want to be with her as a couple. And now I'm able to support her also. She mentions how they fight a lot over stupid things. I think she still loves me, but not sure.

 

Anyway, this is where I need the advice. For Valentines Day I'm planning on flying out there and surprising her. I want to ask her to come back to Utah so we can start over. I want to bring her some roses and even some sort of ring. Also I'm planning on buying her a ticket from Hawaii to Utah and letting her decide, yes or no, that way she knows I’m serious. What do you all think?

[Beec]

Yikes, that's a very risky proposition and you are likely ot get shot down.

 

If you really want her, then the right way to go about it is to get her tow ant what you want, right? If she wants to be with you in Utah, and you want her there, everyone wins when you get together, RIGHT?

 

If I were in your shoes, I would hope that someone took and stuck my face into the book "The Art of Seduction" for a start, and then I would go from there. It would not be the end of my reading and research, but it would be my start. I also would never take it to its conclusion, but I would follow the intial steps.

 

Welcome to enotalone, stickaround. Good luck.

[Cindersam]

I am a little confused as to why you got divorced and she might be too. I understand you wanting to be able to support her but why a divorce? She tried to talk you out of it so she may be reluctant to trust you again. Has she given you any indication that she is interested in reconciliation?

 

Has she mentioned anything about being willing to leave Hawaii?

 

Your Valentine's Day idea sounds like a wonderful romantic gesture and most women if they were wanting the same thing as you did would love it. But unless she is ready for it it may just push her further away. I think you might want to "test the waters" first by talking about the possibilities with her to see where her head and heart are at.

 

Good Luck!