Will threesome ruin my relationship?

[Suzy-TO]

Sorry Blender, hope I did not offend. Just most of my guy friends, and my husband also, have all dreamnt of it. I really like what you wrote, so I take back my "What Man does not want a threesome" There are alot of nice/real men out there, and you have just proven that.

 

 

[Shadows Light]

Poster... don't do anything that "YOU" don't want to do or are comfortable with. For instance if you weren't comfortable with "Anal" sex or the thought of it disturbs you.. why do it??? You arn't comfortable with this idea... then "DON'T" do it.

 

I think playing together with "Fantasy" is great. But if it becomes uncomfortable or your partner starts to make you feel as if you "HAVE" to fufill those fantasies.. then the game has gotten out of hand.

 

I think Fantasy and day-dreaming is normal. We all do it in some shape or form. But we don't act on all our fantasies. There are guys who are sitting on "death row" because they acted out on their fantasies...not a good idea.

[maleAdonis]

 

A decent, loyal, mature, strong, wise, caring, emotionally dedicated man, who understands that "fantasy"

 

i'm a decent, loyal, mature, strong, wise caring emotionally dedicated man who would have sex with my wife and another woman at the same time - if she wanted to do so.

 

is it nice up there on your pedestal?

[blender]

Dear, "maleadonis"

 

That's the point, this girl said "no".. and it doesn't feel "right" for her.. so that is what should be respected... I think you agree...

 

And if your wife said yes, and you would willingly reduce your intamcy to a three-way, then be prepared for the loss of the special bond of love that two people can cherish...

 

I so understand the fantasy, and that so many men have this particular one.. it's normal, taboo, exciting, but in reality it is about "sharing your intamcy" with someone else...maybe some have agreed to this on a drunken weekend your first year of college...but within a marriage?, hmm, what about the cherished intamcy and respect? it waters it down a bit.. it just does.. it does..

 

there is books through out history of couples who have gone down this road, and one of the most powerful ones is by the poet "anna nis nin" and she wrote after agreeing to this "threeway" within her marriage:

 

"when a couple agrees to go on this adventure and add another person for sexual pleasure, you will find in time that you "cry less" "feel less" and lose a sense of yourself and each other, and you lose something that you can never get back, a cherished mutual loving respect of yourselves as a couple."

 

it's not about being on a pedastal, it's about making a choice for your how you feel about yourself, your partner, and the effect it would have on your cherished intamcy..not the effect it would momentarily have on your libido..

 

Sure we could agree to disagree, so for me, I would feel a much better sense of self, if my man left this his fantasy he could discuss with me, but would never ask me to actually participate in... that I feel would "water down" what we would cherish most.."US".

[Lboogie23]

thank you all for your responses. I'm really not sure what to do yet, although i have stopped going along with this fantasy in bed, and although he has toned it down a little sinse, he still brings it up, just not so persistently. If i do, there will be a lot of rules. But at this point, i'm still thinking, no.

[ozsid]

Stick with NO girl.............whilst like most men, the idea of having sex with two women is a real turn on, it will ruin your relationship. Distract him with some other fantasies

I almost came on the spot one day when my partner greeted me coming home with the words "Tie me up and fxxk me......now!" Maybe that's why I married her A true lady in public and totally unashamed in private!