friends with friend's ex?

[pirateabc]

when i fist met my now ex-gf, i also had met some of her friends and winded up starting a fast friendship with one of her best friends. We would talk a lot online, not hang out or anything, and just became good friends. after the relationship ended with the ex (she broke up with me), i remained good friends with her best friend. She helped me through a lot with the ex (i still liked the ex a lot) when she didn't even have to. After the break up with the ex for several months afterward me and the ex's friend would drunk dial each other ever so often (her more than me), i admit there were slightly flirty overtones, nothing major or anything. i would never think of doing anytihng; ' sexual' with her but to be honest i enjoyed the attention but thought nothing else of it and we would talk frequently.

my ex never said anything about it to me but it just hit me today that maybe it did bother her, i'm just wondering if it is wrong to do these type of things, be good friends with an ex's friend?

[robowarrior]

If your an ex, it means your free to date others. I do want you to have your ex-s friend as your number 1, i think she has a thing for you ,hence her being supportive and all, you wouldn't think she has something for you? So dont let her become the rebound girl, and you going back to your ex, that would be really hurtfull for her.

[flower99]

Well you are an ex now, you are free to see & date who you please.

But honestly, as a girl If my boyfriend became good friends with my friend, yes..I would be bothered by it.

It's not 'wrong' to be someones friend, but oddly enough, I'd still question it. I would probably be more bothered with my friend than my ex.

[locolady]

i would think a lot depends upon how and why you broke up and what terms you have betweeen you now. I split up with my ex last year, i honestly thought i would marry him and im struggled hugely to get over it....i still want him if only things were different. thereforeeee if he was good friends with a friend of mine, i would go absolutely mental! Theres no way i could tolerate it because i wish i was with him.

 

If you broke up on friendly terms and are mates now, or have no hard feelings left then you might be able to work it out....

 

however, the other posters are right that it sounds like the friend likes you so you should consider her feelings and the implications if you two were to get together

[pirateabc]

Like I said, I wouldn't have even thought about doing anything with the ex's friend. But now that I think about it, (I guess I'm a little slow at these things) she must have liked me in some ways if she kept so much contact, in fact, when she would 'drunk dial' me, sometimes she would tell me to come visit! (She went to school farther than i would ever go) I really feel bad about this actually. I wasn't looking to upset or 'get back' at my ex at all. We didn't break up on terrible terms (no cheating or lying or anything). I was definitely the one hurt most by the breakup, and i did my best to try to get the ex back for a long while (all in vain i might add), the ex definitely knew i still liked her post break up. But i thought about if my ex was good friends with one of my friends...would i want that friend to be drunk dialing her? hell no! i can't believe i'm just realizing this now! its been about a year!