pirateabc

Like I said, I wouldn't have even thought about doing anything with the ex's friend. But now that I think about it, (I guess I'm a little slow at these things) she must have liked me in some ways if she kept so much contact, in fact, when she would 'drunk dial' me, sometimes she would tell me to come visit! (She went to school farther than i would ever go) I really feel bad about this actually. I wasn't looking to upset or 'get back' at my ex at all. We didn't break up on terrible terms (no cheating or lying or anything). I was definitely the one hurt most by the breakup, and i did my best to try to get the ex back for a long while (all in vain i might add), the ex definitely knew i still liked her post break up. But i thought about if my ex was good friends with one of my friends...would i want that friend to be drunk dialing her? hell no! i can't believe i'm just realizing this now! its been about a year!

when i fist met my now ex-gf, i also had met some of her friends and winded up starting a fast friendship with one of her best friends. We would talk a lot online, not hang out or anything, and just became good friends. after the relationship ended with the ex (she broke up with me), i remained good friends with her best friend. She helped me through a lot with the ex (i still liked the ex a lot) when she didn't even have to. After the break up with the ex for several months afterward me and the ex's friend would drunk dial each other ever so often (her more than me), i admit there were slightly flirty overtones, nothing major or anything. i would never think of doing anytihng; ' sexual' with her but to be honest i enjoyed the attention but thought nothing else of it and we would talk frequently. my ex never said anything about it to me but it just hit me today that maybe it did bother her, i'm just wondering if it is wrong to do these type of things, be good friends with an ex's friend?

shikashika, you should actually be a little relieved that you know for a fact that your ex just doesnt have feelings for you anymore. you can face reality a lot easier than some situation where the dumper still has some feelings for the dumpee and it just ends in more heartache. You said that you arent getting any solace in the fact that your ex doesnt really contact you now...but let me tell you this is actually a HUGE BLESSING in disguise. all the ex contacting the dumpee does is prolong the heartache. I'm not just saying this, ive been through it, i dated a girl for 4 months...it lasted for almost a year after we broke up...she would contact me... talk to me on the phone.. ask me to hangout..tell her friend that she hoped we could work it out..tell me to come visit.. flirt with me..go crazy when i tried ignoring her...then i wouldnt hear from her for a few weeks...it killed me cause i still liked her and told her that more than once post-breakup...and we never got back together, it ended up destroying me inside and i spent a HUGE amount of time analyzing things to death and blaming myself for not showing her 'that i changed' or some crazy crap to make her realize she wanted me back. the silly, sad hope i had (cause she still contacted me, even tho i told her not to) all came crashing down when i heard she had slept with a kid in my group of friends (all the while asking me to hang out in the process). now its a year (!) later from the breakup and im finally coming out of it. So maybe what im trying to say is you're actually quite lucky. You can start healing now rather than later. Use this as an opportunity to make the changes you want to make within yourself (if you feel there were certain qualities that helped ruin the relationships) and do your best to put it behind you. I cant help you with the overanalyzing part beacuse i do the same thing, but i really would suggest changing gyms or avoiding him as much as possible.