He's Rebounding...should I Be There Or Not?

[TaTaBell]

I am glad I found this site at the request of a friend.

 

Please help. I have known a guy S. for about a year. We really like each other

but so far have only been friends. We both admit we have chemistry and I would love to try something more with this guy.

 

Anyway..S has been dating someone for about a year and a half. She broke up with him a few months ago and he is really down right now. I want to be there for him but I don't want to get hurt. It would seem wrong of me to turn my back on him right now, but it really hurts me to see him in pain over someone else. He hasn't asked me to be there, so he isn't "using" me, and he has said he knows it isn't fair to me right now.

 

Are there any guidelines in this situation? Should I back off?

Should I talk to him about this if he needs to?

 

Guys would you want someone to stick around for you in this situation?

I just don;t want to ruin our chances by being a "rebound" but I also

will miss him as a friend.

Please help.

[rocio]

A few months ago?

 

I'd say to be there for him as a friend. Take him out if he's at home depressed. Introduce him to more people. Help him move on. Once he's feeling better, pounce on him!

[Lady Bugg]

This is such an "iffy" one..

I would say keep him at arms length during this time.

If he needs you or asks to talk....be there, but maintain some

emotional distance. It's imperative to take your emotions out of the

equation, otherwise you can't truly be an objective 'friend"..which

is what he probably needs most right now. I think the fact he is

acknowledging that it isn't fair to you, shows he DOES care for you...

and in some ways also trying to preserve the situation.

 

Give him some time to grieve. Check in on him from time to time. Just

to say hello. it doesn't mean you need to be a shoulder to cry on..but

a constant in his life he knows is not going to disappear.

 

Best of luck!

[ratherbesailing]

I've been with my rebound girl for eight years now. I don't know what the statistics are but it seems that any relationship is a risk. I'd say don't push the relationship but don't avoid it either. It doesn't sound like you'd want him to find another girlfriend if it wasn't you so just stay available and see what happens.

[Day_Walker]

Personally I have my own process of getting over an ex and that does not involve another person. I think that in this situation that you have to act how you are comfortable acting.