silentalways Posted November 30, 2006 Share Posted November 30, 2006 Last night a stranger told me Things I didn't want to hear But her words washed over me With gentleness and care It felt like her voice to me And its ok if that's what I need Because A stranger told me how my eyes Were closed for far too long And that all I'm doing is nothing more Than wishing things had never changed That's so selfish of me This wanting Like making what I did was somehow fine Its just another way of lying And letting sadness control your life See when you betray someone you love And destroy their trust and dreams When you treat someone so bad What good are promises I keep looking back Thinking she is near That's denial and searching and thinking Why did this happen to me Last night a stranger told me I can close my eyes and wish she was here Not to fix something broken Just so I can feel someone that was real I didn't believe I didn't hold dear I didn't believe That she would never be here With me But I love this woman madly Never been more sure of anything And I know that I hurt her in ways I still can not believe But I don't see ruins pure and simple I see the arc of frail love I have no fear of rejection again My will and purpose to never stumble again Is from my flesh and made of steel Not born of despair We both know what love is And how people change and grow Love pulls you back Lets you let down your guard Lets you back in I miss everything about her In ways I cannot speak These words from my heart Are humbled by my wrongs Her silence is like a lighthouse I don't know where it leads I ask her to trust and be brave And hear these words turning in the wind Last night a stranger told me Things I didn't want to hear But her words washed over me With gentleness and care It felt like her voice to me And thats ok Link to comment
honeyspur Posted November 30, 2006 Share Posted November 30, 2006 Very beautiful..... Link to comment
silentalways Posted November 30, 2006 Author Share Posted November 30, 2006 i wrote that last night and i hope the woman it is intended for reads it Link to comment
silentalways Posted November 30, 2006 Author Share Posted November 30, 2006 i know i am asking for alot from her - a huge leap of faith on her part really when everything is considered. sometimes, in life, we should rebel against letting a part of someones past be the sole image of how we view another - it is difficult to move away from a snapshot of memory and watch the whole movie instead. if one can do that then mistakes, while still damaging, can be taken with less hurt and a future is not as risky as one thinks. i am in the process of making so many great changes and if she can join me - that would be bliss. but i am realistic and aware that having a positive expectation is fools gold. all i can do i rely on the same stroke of luck that brought us together in the first place. Link to comment
Ellie2006 Posted November 30, 2006 Share Posted November 30, 2006 Sending lots of "luck" your way! Link to comment
silentalways Posted November 30, 2006 Author Share Posted November 30, 2006 that was really nice to hear. i would like to explain something that really has no valid explaination - because i just should have been stronger but i wasn't. i made several mistakes: 1. should have moved in together in our own house 2. should have realized that i still had issues from my past that needed work 3. that just because you were in a 'family' environment previously, blended families are different 4. that bad learned behaviours like escaping from stress need to be corrected not utilized as a means of survival 5. that treating someone poorly and with disrespect will over-ride love 6. that lying and shame is a road to nowhere 7. that depression and addiction will rob you of everything 8. that never take anything or anyone for granted what i have corrected: 1. i am learning honesty 2. i admit i did hurtful things 3. i have listed my home and will move shortly 4. no computer and internet at home 5. learning everyday what a healthy relationship is all about 7. taking responsibilty for my wrongs 8. telling her i love her and want to try again if she does to 9. never do the things i did that corrupted my soul and her trust in me i hope this somehow makes sense and a difference to her Link to comment
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