When should i give up?

[nicks]

Hello,i would be grateful if people could help me.

 

Me and my boyfriend have been apart for just over 3 weeks. We had a break because he didnt know what he wanted and dont know now if he still does or not.

 

We share friends so i still see him at the weekends and he works hard during the week so dont think he has time to think about it. There are still a lot of things that tell me hes still interested but then things would come up that would tell me he isn't.

 

We were out at the weekend with friends and he was getting on like a real hard man, which is not him, i dont know what he was doing but he wasnt being himself, the person i have fallen for, what does that mean?

 

I know he is the one for me cause hes all i ever think about 24/7, so i dont know if i should just keep going out with our friends and see him at the weekends or let him miss me for a while, keep out of his way totally.

 

I dont know if i should try and give up on us getting back together or keep the holding on because i do love him so much and dont want to give up. What should i do, im in a real mess.

 

Thanks everyone.

[Reahb]

I have been in similar situations numerous times. From my experience it is better to keep your waiting time short. If he hasn't realized how much you mean to him within a month, then I would start looking for someone else. It is easier said than done, I know, but in the end it will save you heartace.

[Ash]

Whether you give up hoping and waiting is a personal decision unfortunately. It all depends on how much you can handle, whether waiting will affect your day to day living or not.

 

If it's really doing you in and you just can't get on with anything, it may be best to really try and let go.

 

If it's ticking along in the back of your head, there doesn't seem to be any harm in waiting.

 

When thing I will say however, is don't limit yourself in other ways just trying to honour the fact you are waiting. In other words, if another person comes along who seems nice, and right for you, don't turn them away just because something may eventually happen with your previous boyfriend. He has to be aware of the fact that in taking some time to himself to figure out what he wants, he may lose his chance.

 

In other words, even if you decide to wait, don't stop living for the future.