NC on MSN: how?

[MeLoveHer]

Hi all,

 

Been trying to implement NC, due to recently having lost my GF. Till now, every contact had started from the girl, and not me, since she wants to know how I am feeling.

 

The thing about the girl is that she is insecure, shy and a little proud of herself, something that didn't help so much on the relationship. We broke up but she was always trying to show the possibility of a future getting back together...

 

Now the question is: been doing NC but the hardest case concerns MSN messenger. How should I do it?

 

Usually I am online a lot of time and she shows up during the day. Most of the times we don't speak to each other but sometimes she talks to me. I know, and her friends know she wants to ask me how I am feeling but she tries to do so by not asking the question... I must be the one talking my guts out, since I am preety sure she won't have the guts to ask me that (also I am not interested in telling her how I feel). Till now, not me or our friends have told her a single word, and this is how I would like it to be.

 

Should I tell her I want NC, knowing how she is, or should I simply NC without saying anything. And concerning MSN, should I block her and be offline sometimes so that she doesn't know I am "available" most of the time?

 

Thx

[annie24]

welcome to enotalone.

 

put yourself on invisible or just block her.

[cherries]

agreed - things like MSN give you a false lifeline which would not ordinarily be there. block her and remove her so you don't know when she's on either. if she wants to find you, there are other ways. don't play the game.

[MeLoveHer]

Also, let me add that we broke up because she was confused about what she felt about me. She wanted to like me more as before, saying I was the right person for her, but just didn't manage to...

 

A girl-friend of mine told me to make something completely ambitious, she said I should approach her by surprise and kiss her, to see how she reacts

 

Given how her head "works", how would my odds look like if I were to apply each situation? (NC or Kiss)

[heloladies21]

If you've handled it right, then no matter if you're online at your cpu the whole day and so is she, she won't IM you at all. With my last ex, this is the case. I just made my intentions clear, that I'm not interested in friendship or waiting for her to break up with her current bf or any of that, I was only interested in a relationship. And since she said she wasn't interested, then there was nothing left to be said. She did contact me a few times after that, but each time I cut the small talk instantly and got right to the point and asked her "Are you interested in getting back together with me?" And each time I had to go through explaining to her what I wanted blah blah blah, and now she leaves me alone even though I'm a type away.

 

Handling it this way is better if you can muster up the strength to stick up for yourself because it leaves no doubt in anyone's mind and makes it quicker for you to get over her and move on. Plus it avoids all of the head games and false hope that so many get caught up in during a break up.

[heloladies21]

And definitely don't try that ridiculous suggestion that your friend gave you. And don't do NC as a psychological tactic to get her back (it doesn't work). The best thing you could do is be very direct with her about what you want, but if you don't get it then don't accept anything less.

[krnswte143]

I see my ex online too. I didnt block or delete him.. Its hard tho cus i do get temped to Im him... but I know i'll have to be strong..

[Mavis VDSande]

agreed - things like MSN give you a false lifeline which would not ordinarily be there. block her and remove her so you don't know when she's on either. if she wants to find you, there are other ways. don't play the game.

 

Couldn't agree more. I think having MSN really messes up the natural order of moving on or coming to a resolution after a break-up.

 

Knowing that someone is just a click away literally makes you take them for granted. If that person is there and online when you are, it messes up your perspective that they are NOT in your life anymore.

 

Likewise you give yourself false hopes when your ex is online. And when they're not, you drive yourself crazy wondering where they are!! And btw when they are, you feel tempted to type realms and realms of info that ultimately serves to scare them away even more!

 

Block them, remove them from your list. If they really want to contact you they will.

[dreamguy]

Actually that's a question I have always asked myself.

Do I block her or not. It feels very weird to see her online and not talk to her. And when/if she signs out without talking to me I feel worse !

 

Like Mavis said, if they constantly see you online they won't make the effort to contact you by phone for example. So it's better to keep them blocked most of the time and appear only sporadically.

[MeLoveHer]

2 Days ago I had this very weird experience, she spoke to me on msn while I was busy. I must say I got completely anxious our of the blue, my heart beat accelerated.

 

To avoid these situations, I will keep her blocked or otherwise, I won't be able to get over her

 

Hurts less if you think of other girls for a change...

[planaorplanb]

well, if this helps u make a decision, this is what i just did.

 

i'm in the EXACT situation as u are but i decided to bust a move and show her i love her so i left her a christmas present in her backyard

she will find it sometime today, and i guess then i'll know fer sure

 

people think i crazy and that i need to open my eyes

that this gurl doesn't dig me, that i don't realize

they keep offering me advice, they think i'm headed for ruin

that i'm chasing shadows on the wall, that i shouldn't be doing what i'm doing

when i tell them that i'm ok, they look at me kinda strange

like why would anyone think that any woman is worth all that pain

well, i'm just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round

i really like to watch them roll

after all, what is life if you don't cross over any lines

i'm not the kinda guy that looks at this as wasted time

i've thought this over in 2664 ways

and it came done to plan A or plan B and to decide which one to choose

i pick her favourite number 16 and bounced it between the two

and a funny thing is it came up plan B

and i laughed because that made so much sense we used plan B before

and everything turned out right

so i left her christmas and burpday present in her backyard next to the shed

and i'm not expecting anything only hopes she like the painting and the few words that i said

see, life is only a risk if you think everyone's out to get you and a dogs are at yer heels

life is only a gamble when u are expecting something more

i'm just telling someone i love them just because they are really kewl

i'm just telling her i can show her that even though people think i'm a fool

i think there is nothing wrong with reaching out for someone you love without needed something more

i think that life is beautiful because she shared some time with me and who cares if i want some more

she is a diamond and hurricane - and i love watching the wind blow thru her hair

i hope her christmas and her burpday becomes a little bit special because of the painting that i gave

because i only finished half of it, the rest was left for her

and the reason behind that is because that brings closure to her and i

about the past and maybe the future holds something more

that's all this is, letting go and starting something new

and telling her i love her no matter what

and that's never a wrong thing to do