if you're lonely how do you let a guy know that you only want friendship

[Caterina]

This is deleted.

[KileOriginal]

You message is a bit confused, but it sounds like you want friendship but not an intimate relationship, yet you want to share your life with someone, but not someone who is already around you?

 

Are you afraid of an intimate relationship, or do you feel the guys going after you are not worthy?

 

I want to help you, but I think you need to sit down and clarify with yourself what it is you want, and what it is that the problem is.

 

I will say this much. I've had it told to me many a time before, and people can dissagree all they want, but: Guys and girls cannot be just friends, they can be aquaintances, and lovers, but not something in between. And honestly, its terribly unfair to a guy whom is looking for more to be involved with you and to be automatically friendzoned. Unfortunately, sometimes in life there are no good answers.

 

But I think you should try to clarify what you want, and what you see as the problem.

[Caterina]

You pretty much have my situation there with that first sentence. Well, I decided to cancel out some of the more confusing parts of my post. Why is it that you can't have a purely platonic relationship? I had one with a guy before. I mean, we could have hooked up for convenience but both of us really just enjoy each other's company on a friendship level. I think its unfair to force a girl to be in a romantic relationship if she enjoys your company. So are you saying I shouldn't talk to the guy then? See, I'm lonely and I think he can help. Its just that I recognize that I don't see a romantic future with him. Really, what it boils down to is that I'm looking for a way to cure my loneliness. This year I was struck by loneliness harder then I have ever been in my past.

[robowarrior]

Basically you are your own worst enemy when it comes to meeting people. Despite the fact that you say that you don't want a dog, if you want a friend as you described it then you should buy a dog. But this isn't what you want, you want a man who acts like a dog. You want companionship, but you don't want intimacy like sex, plus you have pain stakingly high standards.

 

And that's it.... the perfect recipy to chase out every man out of your life.

 

So what do men want, besides the usual sex, its evident that your not fun to be with at all, you see the problem with putting high standards, is that the man that you put high standards on, also has high standards, to which you most likely not apply to making your ideal man chosing another woman over you.

 

Im not saying go out with the first man you meet. My advice is 'lower your standards to a half', will increase your chances of meeting guys and wil hopefully be better then just being alone. Bring happyness and love into the relationship that your in. And even if it doesn't work out , you'll get some dating experience. In the end you need to stop being so demanding, human beings have flaws in them, you need to start defining 'realistic' boundries which you can set and are not to be crossed, but also not putting the ladder up too high, so that you'll become some unreachable hermit.