Begging for Help

[alitaheri]

my g/f broke up with me after 2 years.....she went off to college and really started just going all out typical college drinking smoking and partying....after all this drama....i decided to implement NC, but everytime i try, she calls crying or upset because shes having a hard time in her life and im the only one she has to look to.. i tell her not to call and leave me alone because she hurts me. i do NC for like a week or 5 days and then she calls repeadedly crying leaving voicemails saying how upset she is and how she misses me or wants to see me or begs me to just talk to her.....but she never says she wants to get back...i think what she is doing is selfish and she never lets me go. just as i think im gettin over her...she calls and leaves these voicemails making me pick up or call herback because i feel bad and a part of me thinks shes gonna beg and plead to get back with me....please help me out...what should i do....what can i do...i really want her back....but shes hurt me so much...and i dont really trust her but i just miss us being together sooo much...im sick of being sick...please help

[mattyk]

It seems like you know what you need to do anyway, given that her contact has nothing to do with getting back together and makes it harder for you to recover.

 

Stopping this contact seems to be the only answer, the difficulty is how to achieve this. Maybe you could call her when she's in a good frame of mind and tell her that you want some space and that she needs to respect that.... after that you will need to not answer her calls, not reply to her messages, and if she does manage to contact you, end it as soon as possible.

 

This will not be easy, especially since you want to be part of her life, and on some level she wants this as well, but it seems that you realise how necessary it is.

 

Good luck...

[Meow18]

You need to stop answering her calls. If you don't feel you can control it, then change your number.

 

She doesn't want you back. She just doesn't want you to forget about her.

 

You need to realize that the only way to get over her is to not have anything to do with her calls. You know she is just using you. You know she doesn't want anything more than someone to listen to her problems. The only thing is that you can't handle her problems at the same time as getting over her. It just won't work that way.

 

You need to be selfish for once with her and ignore her.

[nomoretears4uboo]

I say, just like meow18 said, change your number, that way when you start to forget about her there's no way she can contact you. and tell anyone you give your new number to not to give out to anyone.