Says he will never stop loving me, but has new girlfriend

[Scarlet]

We broke up yesterday. My ex boyfriend and I have been together 4 years and for two years it was a long distance relationship. It was difficult when we started the relationship because we were both separated. I finally got my marriage annuled after 2 years (we don't have divorce in my country) and was waiting for him to fix his end. Since early 2003 he has changed, not calling much, etc etc Finally I found out he has a new girlfriend, 2 months now. It's painful. We had marriage plans and somewhere along the way his plans changed (which was why there was no move to have his marriage annuled) and he didn't tell me.

 

It seems he has always thought that we would never get together because of our jobs (we're both professionals and have established jobs in different places), or because of other problems in our lives. And so he found another woman where he is now. He tells me it isn't serious but the damage has been done. He chose her over me. He just gave up. He tells me he is sorry for hurting me and he sent me a message today saying that it may sound strange or untrue but he will never stop loving me. I know I'm a chump if I believe that, but it's so hard to let go because I still love him. Though we had a relationship with lots of complications, we really did love each other and had great times.

 

After the talk we hugged and cried in each other's arms. I'm so sad that it's over. I miss him so much. I don't know if I can resist it if he sends me text messages or would call me in the future. I believe that we are good friends too, but I don't think I can deal with any communication with him as yet. It hurts too much. Please give me advice. I feel so alone.

[Eternity]

i don't know what to tell you, seeing as how i never really loved yet, its hard for me to give advice on a subject im so ignorant in, lol, but, i believe you should do exactly what you were thinkin, and simply not talk to him for as long as its neccesary, and if he contacts you, then you should simply tell him exactly what the situation is... that you distrust him because he has betrayed you, and that you just need to break contact from him for a while, and also tell him that maybe after all this, that being friends is possible

 

whatever you do, just break contact, and be straightforward if he asks any questions, but ya should break contact, now, of course other people will have opinions, and maybe even better ones at that, but if those opinions don't work, try mine i guess, or invent a solution

 

but do not wallow in despair hoping that he might come back some day, that is not right to yourself at all

[Lightingbird]

Whatever you do, just break contact, and be straightforward if he asks any questions, but ya should break contact, now, of course other people will have opinions, and maybe even better ones at that, but if those opinions don't work, try mine i guess, or invent a solution

but do not wallow in despair hoping that he might come back some day, that is not right to yourself at all

 

This is exactly what I was about to tell you.

 

Don't live in Disney.

 

If you know nothing will come of this and since he in fact does have a new girlfriend. Please don't kid yourself.

 

The road before you will be hard. But the first step is giving you room to breath and a fighting chance. Cutting ties would be the best bet.

 

Good luck to you.

 

[Scarlet]

Thank you for your advice. My mind knows I have to break contact now, but my heart is lagging behind. It is possible he does care for me, but realizes that we are not meant for each other. I realize I have to let go, and keep remembering that no matter what he says he does have a new girlfriend, and that is answer enough. It's a difficult time and I hope and pray I get through this with a mended heart.

[4EverNight]

I understand what you feel and how it hurts. I'm basically going through the same thing. It is possible that he still cares for you but you have to realize he is with someone else. My heart lags behind as does yours but sometimes we just have to let go. Your logical side tells you to let go and go on but the heart does what it wants and it keeps holding on hoping that the person you love will come around and see their mistake in leaving. Unfortunately this rarely happens. It's difficult but in time I'm told that it does get easier. I wish I had the right answers for you to keep you from the pain but I don't. This is something that we usually have to do on our own. I'm still struggling with it myself. I know that I haven't given you any real advice but I can feel and understand your pain and to let you know that your not alone.