any tips anyone?

[robinn]

Ive been having some real problems with my girl. Im back home in the Uk, she is away in China. we have decided to stay together, although sometimes things get tough, especially as she is away. Things from the past have come up, and we have long distance arguments. These are the worst-at least when you are in contact you can kiss and make up

 

Yesterday we had an awful argument on IM and she basically said she didnt know whether she wanted to be with me anymore. Just days before we were exchanging poetry and saying how much we love each other. She has been talking about our future with me when she gets back all the time. This has happened before, and we have bounced back to the amazing relationship we have 90% of the time. Ive been reading other forums on this site and Ive been inspired to get the bull by the horns on a past issue which has been causing us problems. I told her this, and that I was going to do it because I loved her, and I didnt want to make someone I loved so unhappy. We have decided to go on a break until I go see her in January.

 

We talked again today, and things seem better again, but I know if we keep falling out like this we cant last. I know she still cares for me, but I know Ive really hurt her by some of the things Ive said. Just a few days ago, things were awesome I dont understand how things can change so much. I just hope its not too late because Ive never been with a girl like this. I feel awful-what can I do to make things right?

[LostInMyThoughts]

Two words: Conflict Resolution.

 

Have you done much reading on how you can work on relationship conflicts as a way to bring you closer, instead of driving you apart?

[melrich]

What sort of things are you fighting about?

[PrincessJOA]

just give in and apologize for whatever reasons, and make sure you try to avoid what it was that made you two head into arguments. you learn from your mistakes so put your new found knowledge into use

[gattsuga]

just give in and apologize for whatever reasons, and make sure you try to avoid what it was that made you two head into arguments. you learn from your mistakes so put your new found knowledge into use

 

i disagree. What kind of relationship only has one side winning all the arguments? There needs to be a balance, or you'd never get your way, and she always will. Maybe she made some mistakes, you can't just dismiss that and say it was your fault.

 

it could be the long distance that is eating her up. not having any physical contact is very difficult for some people. Whether or not you two are strong enough to overcome that is up to you two. send her flowers from her local flower shop, mail her some presents that have your personal touch.

[PrincessJOA]

i disagree. What kind of relationship only has one side winning all the arguments? There needs to be a balance, or you'd never get your way, and she always will. Maybe she made some mistakes, you can't just dismiss that and say it was your fault.

 

it could be the long distance that is eating her up. not having any physical contact is very difficult for some people. Whether or not you two are strong enough to overcome that is up to you two. send her flowers from her local flower shop, mail her some presents that have your personal touch.

 

true that, but I find it easier to just give in before an argument starts up. Its better to avoid getting into conflicts, so it will save me from a lot of heartbreaks