Depression vs Hapiness make that much of an attraction difference?

[RedPenguin]

Ok, as I posted before, I have OCD and ADHD, which both combined used to make me depressed, low self-esteem, self-conscious, social anixety, you get the picture. Well, I started to take Zoloft to try it out, and I have been much happier and rarely have any depression now.

 

Now my question and curiosity is this.

 

When I was my old self, depressed and anxious, I swear, I was more looked at funny and I never really seemed to be looked at. And if I looked at a good looking girl, it felt more like she would be like, what are you looking at?

 

Lately, since I am happier and being a little more funny, it's like, when I go to stores and/or malls, I swear, it's like more people are looking at me. I mean it's like more girls are looking at me, when I swear before, it was like I never really got looked at. And lately it's like when I look at the same type of attractive girls, they seem to be more like, hey, what's up, damn you aren't bad. Like they don't seem to have that, who cares about him look, any more. Also people seem to be more friendlier with me, like people are willing to talk to me more, when before, it seemed like I was looked at as weird. At first I thought I was maybe just seeing things that were not there, but I was walking with someone, and even they said, man, this or that girl, was checking you out when I am more used to the opposite and not hearing someone tell me that.

 

Can just not being depressed, social anxietic, and self-conscious, really cause that much of a difference? I mean, I haven't really changed looks wise, clothes wise, or anything like that. Why does it seem now that I am noticed way more when I walk somewhere?

[shes2smart]

People may tend to stay away from others who give off negative vibes -- be they angry or depressed. So, that's probably a part of what you're noticing.

 

The other thing is that your own perception of things is changing since you've started the medication. While you now notice people looking at you and interpret that as positive interest on their part, you may have interpreted it differently prior to taking the meds...even if the other person's actions were exactly the same then as they are now. So, f'rinstance, before you may not have noticed if they were looking at you...and if you did you may have automatically assumed that they were probably looking at someone else OR they were noticing something negative about you.

 

People might've also been trying to strike up conversations with you at the same rate before as they are now...but prior to the meds, you may have been more withdrawn into yourself and not picked up on it or your self-talk might've been such that you convinced yourself they were doing it out of pity or because they wanted something.

 

While both factors are probably coming into play, I think it all starts with your perception of events. If you percieve/interpret your surroundings as friendly, open and receptive to you, you're going to choose different actions than if you perceive/interpret your surroundings as hostile, unfriendly and belittling you.

 

Psychotropic meds (like Zoloft) alter your brain chemistry and that, in turn, alters the way your brain processes information thus changing your perception of what's going on around you.

[timlondon]

I would imagine that as you're happier now your whole body language will be different, and this will really affect the way people respond to you.

 

This is also somewhat self-fulfilling, as the happier you are the better your interactions with people will be, which in turn makes you happier and... you get the picture.

 

I'm really pleased that you're doing well. Keep it up!

[RedPenguin]

Yeah, oh I see what you guys all mean. I was just wondering, why it all seemed so different. Because it always seemed like it was an unfriendly world before and it seemed like I never was good with girls at all, then instantly it seemed like I had people being friendly with me and it seemed like girls were actually noticing me and I was like, woah, what happened? Thanks, both of your replies make sense.

[Carl5000]

its like shes2smart said, you've changed inner outlook which has probably changed you body language and ur now happier, more self secure and women, well ppl in general find u more attractive.

 

although, i dont. But, if i was to go to the mail and make eye contact and smile at many women, i'd have more success and seem more approachable than if i looked at the floor etc.

 

In reality, most of the your outlook is pre-determined, i don't give a * * * * if ppl think just trying to become more postive is the way forward. It depends on reactions and ur anticipated reactions off other ppl..

 

If you've been bullied all you life, then ur see the world in a negative light and vice verus if you are beautiful, intelligent and everyone wants a piece of you, your think ppl are great and wonderful. Its best to see ppl for what they really are and i'll let you find that out for urself