As A Dumper?

[TylrLvck]

This might be an odd question...but has anyone (specifically guys) broken up with someone and still expected or HOPED to hear from the DUMPEE?

The ego is a weird thing, and I know even a dumper has feelings.

 

Thoughts??

[amtjrtcet]

I didn't EXPECT to hear from him, but I wanted to occasionally just to know he was doing ok. I still want to. And there are times I want to call him, but I don't b/c I want him to keep being ok.

[sparkle1]

Not all dumpers have feelings!

 

Umm yes as a dumper in previous relationships after the 'dump' i've wanted to stay in contact and have been glad when they've called/texted. Partly to stop my guilt of huring them - and to know they are oK.

 

As the dumpee - it really annoys me that dumpers stay in touch. Its asthough they are dragging out the torment. And are frightened to let you go.

 

did you post for any particular situation?

[TylrLvck]

Thanks Sparkle and Michelle.

 

Yes I posted because I got dumped the beginning of the month. I have held strong though. Initially I DID cave and send a few emails to get out what I needed to for closure, but now I am accepting it is over and I even went as far as to change my phone number, so he does not think he can "check up" on me. Hehe..I have learned something from reading these boards.

[eleanorrigby1]

When my ex dumped me. He did it because he didnt love me. He wasnt cruel really, It just hurt a lot when he said "I dont love you, I've tried, Im sorry..."

 

I was devestated but I didnt want him to know! anyway for a few weeks he would see my friends around and say "hows eleanor?" and they would say "oh she's fine, great yeah, I'll tell her you said Hi.."

 

After a couple of weeks he said to my friend "You know I gotta admit, I got a bit of a bruised ego.. she doesnt seem too bothered...."

 

He didnt want me, he didnt love me.

 

but he wanted me to want him and love him and miss him.

 

GRRRR

[sparkle1]

Thanks Sparkle and Michelle.

 

Yes I posted because I got dumped the beginning of the month. I have held strong though. Initially I DID cave and send a few emails to get out what I needed to for closure, but now I am accepting it is over and I even went as far as to change my phone number, so he does not think he can "check up" on me. Hehe..I have learned something from reading these boards.

 

You've done a very very brave thing....you're clearly a very strong character - good on you!!

 

I think you can be assured - he will think about you at some stage, may even try and contact you. BUT you've made the decision - and you're in control.

 

GO GIRL!!

 

hugs

 

Sparkle xxxx

[amtjrtcet]

Thanks Sparkle and Michelle.

 

Yes I posted because I got dumped the beginning of the month. I have held strong though. Initially I DID cave and send a few emails to get out what I needed to for closure, but now I am accepting it is over and I even went as far as to change my phone number, so he does not think he can "check up" on me. Hehe..I have learned something from reading these boards.

 

Good for you! Stay strong hun!

[TylrLvck]

THAT'S the ego I was talking about. Selfish selfish selfish. Good for you though for being strong!! I hope I can hang on for the next few weeks/months.

[TylrLvck]

Thanks so much for the support guys. It's hard and I give ANYONE credit who never begs, cries and who can walk away with dignity. I am a pretty stubborn person when need be, and maybe in THIS instance, it is to my benefit

[sparkle1]

Thanks so much for the support guys. It's hard and I give ANYONE credit who never begs, cries and who can walk away with dignity. I am a pretty stubborn person when need be, and maybe in THIS instance, it is to my benefit

 

Defo to your benefit. You'll only be fuelling his ego by being in touch!

 

We've all begged and cried - and some!! but...you have to get to the stage where that person will not be allowed to hurt you anymore. And you take control....

 

Stubborness in this instance is a great thing!!

 

x

[TylrLvck]

Well, I feel good because I got the chance to tell him that if he was able to walk out of my life so easily now, what would he be capable of in the future?

With that I went NC and plan to maintain it if it kills me.

[sparkle1]

Good on you!!

 

and remember if you're ever tempted to break NC - get your hands on the computer and type away to us!! what ever you do - don't break NC!!

 

Good luck....

 

 

[TylrLvck]

Thank you Sparkle I most certainly WILL do that!!!