Questions/fears help me

[iceman85]

Hello everyone I am on my mission of NC. I have gone a month and am continuing without any regrets. This is what I needed to do, I needed to get my head on straight after dealing with the mess that was my summer. However, I have a few fears/questions and I was wondering if you could help me with them.

 

I am not sure what stage I am at in my recovery, I just know I get intensly lonley and sad at times, and I really miss my ex. I really loved her and even though its 6 months since she broke up with me I still feel hurt although its not nearly as bad as it was.

 

I told her I couldnt talk to her or see her anymore, I laid everything out to her and told her we either work on things now or i'm gone for good, because I cant talk to her because the hurt was too much and I loved her still and I needed to do this for me. She said we werent gonna get back together, that i'd always have a place in her heart etc. So thats the last time I talked to her, I even gave her the journal of what I wrote down as I was going through everything after the breakup. I wanted it to be my last word to her to show her how much I loved her.

 

Now I'm a month beyond that day. I have days where I do good but others where I am really down and miss my ex intensly.

 

My questions for you guys are

 

1) Will she forget about me, Has she forgotten about me? I feel like shes with a new group of friends, doing drugs and just seemingly living that life. I feel like shes forgotten about me and everything good we had.

 

2) Should I contact her after a few months of no contact? I feel like I should, even though i've been doing NC, I feel like I'm gonna still care about her and have the hope that theres a chance down the line.

 

3) What do I do if she contacts me? I highly doubt she will, shes a stubborn person, but in the slim chance she does, what do I do?

 

4) What do I do on those days where I feel miserable and miss her so much? I tend to look at her online profiles and see what shes up to and I just miss her more.

 

All of your help would be greatly appreciated.

[Relationship Coach]

1. She will forget about you over time as you will her. Good, bad or indifferent.

 

2. There is no real reason to contact her other than your own curiosity and we all know where that got the cat! She made it very clear she's not going to get back together with you. She did say she would always have a place in her heart for you but that's like saying everyone's got a place for coupons which never get used.

 

3. If she contacts you...run! She will only hurt you more, she sounds incapable of giving you what you need.

 

4. Get out of the house and away from the computer, obsessing about her and wondering what she is up to will keep you from healing!

 

Consider yourself lucky that she isn't popping in and out of your life and playing games with you. You should be very thankful!

 

RC

[emo_lover]

1) Sometimes people have to get into different things to make themselves feel like they havent lost total control over their lives. so these changes, even if they dont seem like her, can be a result of generalized change in her life. as for if she'll forget you... i doubt it. Girls remember so many specific things and especially guys they've loved. REALLY LOVED. if she doesnt remember you in a few months she wasnt worth it in the first place because she didnt really care.

 

2) contacting her seems desperate. hate to say it but its true. if shes not with you there is a reason behind it. maybe it'll work out later but you have to give her a chance to figure that out. pushing it will only push her away. i promise.

 

3) if she contacts you then go with it. dont act like you need her or anything no matter how much you might. be cool about it. friends first.

 

4) looking at that stuff makes it worse. if she gets a new guy and you see it on her site its just going to hurt you and make you want to contact her even more which will just start way more drama than you need. leave her alone and even when you feel lonely and everything find something to occupy your time. soon enough you'll learn to be ok being by yourself. and then if she comes back to you you'll have a clear head to decide if its best for you or not.

 

hope it helps