I dont understand this

[southpole854]

I posted about 3 weeks ago about my breakup with my girlfriend and best friend of over a year and a half.. Well I still see her about once a week because she wants to talk.. So I go over and she always ends up telling me how much she loves and misses me an usually starts kissing me.. The thing is she has another b.f... Now why if she loves and misses me so much and is even kissing me is she still with him?

[nona021]

She's messing around with your emotions, likely not intentionally, she's just confused is my guess. This isn't fair to you as she's giving you mixed messages- if this continues neither she or you will ever be truly apart or together.

It's great that you guys want to be friends, but it seems like right now your relationship is anything platonic- however it IS causing you pain as your continually stuck in limbo. Maybe tell her that even though you still want her in your life- you can't have it halfway. If she's chosen she doesn't want to be with you, she has to accept that as well. If she's changed her mind, maybe you two can give it another shot, but she has to change her mind ~ALL~ the way.

 

Good luck, feel better!

[sabena]

Hello and welcome to eNotalone.com hope that someone can help you.

 

I have to agree somewhat with nona021 in that she perhaps does not realise that although she is messing with your emotions, she isn't doing it intentionally.

 

When we break up with someone, we often feel that we have lost a part of ourselves and this is also for the person to breaks off the relationship. There is a vulnerable time in the first couple of weeks where a lot of people can feel very lonely and depressed and this can often make people go back to their partners even though they may not really want to. We all want to be loved and held and wanted, and maybe she is genuinely missing you and has confused this with other emotions running round her head and has caused the kissing.

 

Now I know that you say she has another bf but for most people when coming out of a long term relationship and going into another, it is hard to let go of the first relationship and she may feel a certain safe and familiarity with you that she doesn't receive as yet from her present bf.

 

I think what you should do is either talk to her or write to her about how you feel. Tell her that you think it's wrong to have both yourself and this new bf and that you feel that by giving her space and time she can decide what she needs.

 

This will work for you also, because you need time to build up your defences a little so that if you do meet again and she does want to make a move you can think rationally if it is a good idea or whether it would be best for you both to make you separate ways.

 

Hope this helps

[southpole854]

I also forgot to mention to things.. In her room she still has a framed picture of me on her bureau and still wears this ring that I gave her a few months ago all of the time..

[southpole854]

I am just wandering since I know she loves me and is not over me an still considers us best friends cause we were in the relationship, if I should just try and stop talking to her.. Not answer when she calls and ignore her IMs.. I mean cause I keep getting back hope when we see each other and kiss but then I think.. EW she has a b.f...Should I back off and remove all contact (which sounds very hard) or just keep going how it is.. I have already told her how I feel and how much I love her..