What was YOUR worst stage?

[SoontobeRN]

Hey Everyone...

 

I think I'm going to need to say goodbye to ENA soon

Everytime I come here, it reminds me of my ex, and I just don't want to think about him anymore. I've moved on (sometimes feel like I'm not there yet, but I know I will be one day soon) and coming here brings up things I just want to forget, so I'm posting a topic ONE LAST TIME, and then I feel like I should take a break...

 

SO-MY QUESTION/DISCUSSION TOPIC IS:

What was everyone worst stage to get through?? I think when I was going through the depression stage, I would have agreed with anyone that that was the WORST part of everything, but I think that now that I'm in the acceptance phase, I'm thinking that THIS STAGE is the worst! Even though I feel GREAT (90% of the time), those periods where I feel that I'm not yet over him make it SO hard to keep the faith.

 

At least when I was in the depression, I KNEW for 100% that I wasn't over him, but now being happy a lot of the time and wanting to date and do NEW exciting things, those times when I'm not feeling so hot and I think about my ex are so discouraging and sometimes make you feel worst than EVER...BUT, they do go away very quickly so I guess it's all apart of the process.

 

I have to say though, that I have learned SO MUCH from being "dumped", and even though is was the HARDEST thing I've ever gone though, it's made the most positive impression on my life and I am really beginning to see what GREAT things are coming my way

 

SO-Last words of advice for everyone out there going through this for the first time, for the second AND FOR THE LAST:

 

"IT DOES GET BETTER...YOUR DAY IS COMING

 

Sincerely,

STB

[robowarrior]

Lol, if you would have to avoid everything that reminds you of your ex i don't think you'd even could use the internet,you couldn't even set a step on this world because its the same one he is using. Honestly, the best thing you can do is realising its a dead end,but keep on loving him.

 

I learned harsh lessons from my break-up. I should never have gone into a relationship thinking it would work out just because it concerned me and 'my case'. Reality is that a guy can pick up his bags and leave anyday.

 

Really don't stop from living just because of this. I know people who just hide themselves in a closet and cry. But later they say i can't believe i wasted time on that, some girls don't even visit the mall anymore because they bought clothes for him at a certain shop. But honestly is he worth it to put your life on a halt? And to never visit your favorite places? Of course not.

 

The past is the past, nothing can change that. You can only try to improve the future and keep on living, while taking these valuable life lessons with you.

[SoontobeRN]

Hey Robo.!

YOU ARE SO RIGHT! Ya know, I actually tried to "forget" him once before and it was probably the worst thing I could have tried. It came back a few weeks later and knocked me right on my @$$!

 

If I just embrace this all and accept that I still think about him, then won't this process take a lot longer? Don't get me wrong, I don't want him back and I don't want him to contact me or anything...but when will I feel like I'm 100% over him?-when will the time come when I can think about him and not get mad at myself for thinking about him?

 

I guess I just feel that because I'm almost over him, I shouldn't be thinking about him!?!?

So, it'll stick with my decision of this stage being the hardest and worst...but maybe I'll stick around here for a while!

 

 

STB

[kath123]

i think its all the worst stage lol,last week i was ok,now im right back down there like the first few days, im hoping it will pass quicker now though,and i'll soon be ok again.

i dont know what stage im at though,five weeks,what do yo think??

am i still in shock,acceptance or depression

who else is in the same timescale as me and what stage do you think youre in?

[betrayedgirl]

The worst stage of break up for me was the first three days. I was in shock, disbelief, feeling very stunned. I couldn't sleep or eat for 3 days.

 

It eventually turned to anger and feeling betrayed. Some days I did miss him but I don't miss him anymore.

 

It does take time.

[LilPixie]

I am going on 5 months and I just went through a very rough patch.

Between the 2nd and the 4th month I seemed to be cooping better.

Then the 4th month came and it literally opened a door to a very physical pain. I felt that I couldn't breath for two weeks straight.

 

Maybe I am in a period of facing reality now. Before it seemed very painful but yet unreal. I haven't had any contact with him since the break up.

 

People say that it does get better after the 6th month. I am trying to make it there without loosing my mind completely.

I am not sure what stage I am in though. I still feel like I am in all of them.

Anger, depression, pain...maybe denial is missing now.

 

But the road ahead looks a lot better from where I am standing now than the place I was in just few months ago.

 

Keep the faith...

[SoontobeRN]

Hey LilPixie...

I only dated my ex for about 7 weeks, and I'm still recovering. I've heard that long term relationships bring short term pain, but short term relationships bring very long term pain because you're left with all of the "what ifs"...

 

When my ex broke up with me, the first month was good..then the second and half of the third month was awful. But ever since the middle of Sept, I've been good-and still getting better. Knock On Wood!!!

 

You said that things should get better after the sixth month. If it does, AWESOME, but I found that when I counted of certain things happening and things didn't end up going as planned, it just added to the problem-If you ask anyone on here what the timeline is for a breakup, they will all say the same thing: THERE IS NO TIMELINE! Breakups are so hard because we just don't know what is going to happen.

 

I guess what I'm trying to tell you is maybe to just accept whats happening and what is going to happen-don't plan on things getting better after 6 months. If for whatever reasons things don't get better after 6 months, and you planned on it, being let down might make things worse...just go on with your life and you'll see that in a little bit of time, you'll look back and think "wow, a month/week/day has gone by already and I haven't even thought about him"...

 

I'm going through a breakup for the first time (and I mean being broken up with for the first time), and I've learned that nothing is guaranteed. I've learned that I just need to accept that I still think about my ex eventhough I don't want him back and one day in the not-so-distant future, I'm going to realize that I haven't thought about him for awhile.

 

*THERE IS SOMETHING THAT YOU CAN COUNT ON THOUGH-THINGS WILL GET BETTER-COUNT ON THAT!!!!!!!!!!*

 

KEEP ON GOING

STB