A little advice needed for a confused being

[eeyore]

There is so much weird messed up stuff going on in my head, and I'm sure this isn't the right topic I'm posting in, but for the moment I just need some reassurance. I'm going to Malaysia next year for a few months and I need injections. That means I have to sign up with a doctor (this is England by the way!) because I've been at university for the past 3 years so have to change doctors now that I'm living at home again. The thing is that I have been known to cut myself (I won't go into the reasons for it). Never really badly but if I have to have an examination they might notice the scars. I can see them but I don't know if that's just because I know that they're there. A couple of people have commented, but I'm accident prone by nature so nobody has got suspicious. Recently I've been cutting around my wrist because it's covered by my watch and I'm sure the nurse won't make me take my watch off, but I also have some scars on my stomach - she won't look there will she? The other thing is that I'm scared that she'll say something to me and I'll break down in tears, I'm sure it wouldn't take much. They don't ask you anything about your state of mind when you register with a doctor do they? I have to do it before the middle of September, I've been putting it off since June because I know that they weigh you and I want to lose a pound or two before I go! (That's another story!) I kind of feel like a time bomb. I've never been able to talk to anyone about how I feel, and I'm sure that one day I'm going to either burst or break down. Maybe it's just the fact that someone is going to ask things about me that scares me. And I'll have to answer, I won't be able to change the subject or run away like I normally do!

 

Sorry, I waffled! If anyone knows what happens when you register with a doctor I'd be grateful to know, so that I can be prepared! Thank you!

[korey]

Ok, calm down. Have you talked to a psychologist about this? You can't keep running away from your problems, there are other things to do other then run away from them, you have to deal with them head on. I know this sounds hard to do and believe me, it will be, I am not saying it is impossible but it won't be the easiest in the world to do. Maybe think about getting into a religion, I myself am a Christian and have a Bible verse for you to think about: Psalm 23:4 "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me;your rod and your staff, they comfort me." And another one, John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son". And about going to the doctor, it depends what kinda thing you are talking about, if it is an examination or physical then yes, they will look at you all over. They probably will see the scars and cuts on your rists and all over you. May I ask another question, Why do you cut yourself? To me it really makes no sense, I mean because you are in pain because of your problems and then you decied to cause MORE pain to yourself by cutting yourself? I mean not to offend by my comments, I am just trying to help.

[murka]

Hi Eeyore!

 

I'm afraid to go to the doctors from different reasons, but I understand how you feel. What works for me (it may sound weird, but it works most of the times) is to tell te doctor/nurse that you don't fancy (so to tell) this procedure and his/her close attention to your body. Even if you don't mind the injections and check-up (I do very much mind them), you can consider to tell this, since then you earn this person's sympathy before he turns to be your enemy. I always try to explain that this is nothing to do with the specific medical staff person, but it is my problem, a very old one. Then I usualy say that although I wll try to cooperate as much as possible, I will probably refuse to do some things. If you can see that he/she is might be gifted with sense of humor, you can even joke about it, or at least smile disapprovingly at yourself. The usual reaction to this is more understanding, tender and thougfull approach taken by doctor/nurse and it also lets you an opportunity to avoid things that you want to avoid. If you have already appologized for it, they do not get angry and uncooperative. Since you go there because of the trip and not medical problem, I think that you may even leave there unchecked at all.

 

Regarding the cutting problem, I tried it for myself once and I can clearly see how it helps. On the other hand not to to be needed for this is much nicer feeleing and I very much wish you to find other ways to help youself. Good luck!!!