uh oh, here we go again!

[buddafleye]

Actually, I've decided that I'm totally telling her. I'm not going to do it before Christmas because I'm headed out of town in a couple days and won't be able to access the internet for a couple weeks, and the little time I have left here is jam-packed with stuff I've been avoiding doing. *sigh*

 

But for sure, no doubt in my mind, I'm going to tell her over e-mail when I get back. If she wants to tell me she's not interested, she's straight, or just downright ignore me... it will be less hurtful over e-mail. If she wants to talk about it, that would make me feel better and at least then it's not me just randomly asking her for coffee and then fretting about it for days. We can go into coffee knowing what's going to happen.

 

So that's REALLY scary because I've NEVER told a girl before if I liked her, but I just have to tell her. I may never see her again and my feelings are just too strong to not let her know. I've been in this situation before and TOTALLY regret it. I pretty much think about it every day. SO... I'm scared but I think it'll be ok. She's nice. I'm prepared for her to say she's not interested, I just want her to know.

 

I'll update when it happens in the new year.

[lil_kaila]

I think that's a great idea! I wish I had the courage to do things like that more often!

 

Good luck!

[buddafleye]

I think that's a great idea! I wish I had the courage to do things like that more often!

 

Good luck!

 

 

Well... there are only so many times I can go through this, you know? This is my third or fourth really huge crush on another girl and if I don't soon say something to one of them, I'm going to spend the rest of my life regretting things. I've got enough of that already.

 

It's also kind of easier because I know the chances of me ever running into her again are slim to none. We're on opposite sides of campus. I'm going to be majorly nervous and embarrassed to tell her, but at least I don't have to see her again unless she wants to. It kind of kills two birds with one stone -- getting my feelings off my chest and if she responds negatively, finding a way to get over her! haha.

[buddafleye]

Well I did it. Yes, that's right... I DID IT! OMG my heart is coming out of my chest, I can't believe i just wrote what I wrote and sent it. I decided on a whim that I didn't feel like waiting until the new year and now I'm sort of regretting it a little bit. hahhahaha. OMG! I'm sooo stupid. holy smokes. If ever there were a cure for a crush, this is it. I totally don't want to know what she says in response.

[NKP]

Good on you, im happy for you, hope she reads it and replys with good news, if not hope you can be friends

[buddafleye]

Good on you, im happy for you, hope she reads it and replys with good news, if not hope you can be friends

 

 

OR... it could be horribly awkward and she'll never speak to me again, which wouldn't be totally terrible because I wouldn't have had an opportunity to speak to her again anyway. So.. I guess it was a pretty good idea. She can tell me she wants to be friends or likes me back and everything's good. She can tell me she's not interested and to never email her again and I've got a reason to get over this obsessive crush! It's win-win, really. haha.

 

And no, I haven't checked my e-mail yet. I sent it around 1 pm and I've been shopping/dentist all day. blah.

[buddafleye]

Nothing. I have no new e-mail. Ok, I'm taking that as a bad sign. hahah. Either she's on holidays and hasn't cared to check her email, or she checked it and is completely weirded out by me and has no clue what to say.

 

I was really self-depricating in the email. hahah. I basically wrote it to say I thought I had a crush on her, but that I didn't want to make her feel weird or anything like that and that I wasn't expecting anything to come of it. I just had to tell her.

 

Which is a lie because I'd give my left arm for her to like me back, but I'm just not THAT bold yet. haha. It took unbelievable amounts of courage and what I'm calling temporary insanity to email her what I did.

 

Now I'm going to fret until she says something. I'm kind of hoping she rejects me so the whole ordeal is over.

[Cadence308]

Wow, I can't believe you sent her an email telling her that you like her! That took guts and there's no way that I would have done something like that unless I knew there was a better than 80% chance that I knew she liked women and seemed attracted to me. I'm just like that, though.

 

Have you heard anything back yet?

 

What did you say to her exactly? Did you tell her that you think she's hot and you want to go out on a date?

[buddafleye]

Yeah, I normally wouldn't have said anything either except for the fact that I knew I'd never talk to her again anyway. I live in a big city and I go to a big university, so being on opposite ends of campus means literally being 20 minutes away (walking). We work in completely different fields, so I pretty much know there will be no awkward moments running into her. I mean, fate could hate me and I could bump into her, but whatever, you know? It's not like I now have to face seeing her every day.

 

No, I didn't say ANYTHING like that. haha. I put it in really nice words, extremely carefully crafted to sound non-threatening. I basically said that I have a crush on her. I said I wasn't really sure why, which I'm not. I told her I wasn't really expecting anything of it, but that I just had to tell her. I didn't use the words "date", "hot".... nothing like that. Mostly because I think she might be straight and I'm probably already freaking her out enough with my confession. haha.

 

I STILL haven't heard anything back. There's a possibility she's off on vacation seeing as it is the last few days before Christmas, but somehow I doubt that and I'm pretty sure she's freaked out and A) doesn't want to respond or B) doesn't know what to say.

 

It's all good. I mean, of course I'd like to at least hear from her to know she's not totally weirded out by me, but I would understand if she never replied. Personally, I feel 1000 times better having told her for some reason.

 

 

Wow, I can't believe you sent her an email telling her that you like her! That took guts and there's no way that I would have done something like that unless I knew there was a better than 80% chance that I knew she liked women and seemed attracted to me. I'm just like that, though.

 

Have you heard anything back yet?

 

What did you say to her exactly? Did you tell her that you think she's hot and you want to go out on a date?

[jabele]

Oh wow! I just read these last few posts...thats incredible you got up the courage to do that...even if she doesn't respond, I hope this doesn't deter you in the future from being true to yourself and your feelings. If she doesn't reciprocate, I can almost guarantee that its not beacuse of you, but because she's straight.

 

You said you think she is...any particular reason? Ever check out her nails? Granted, not always reliable...but the nails can be a reasonable indication..

[buddafleye]

No, no reason at all. I actually get more gay vibes from her than I do straight. She's got the short nails, weird shoes, deeper voice, etc, etc. But even though I get these vibes, I can't help but think she's still straight. I don't think I'll ever know because it's been what.. three days now? Still no response. I think she's probably going to never respond to me because like I said, we're never going to see each other again. I mean, that's pretty cruel of her, but I understand if she feels awkward and doesnt' know what to say.

 

No, I don't think it's deterred me at all. I think the experience of finally telling a girl I like them is a HUGE step for me, regardless of whether or not she reciprocates. It will definitely help me in the future.

[buddafleye]

*gulp*

 

so... I just got back from my little holiday vacation and I have an e-mail from her. I can't even open it because the first line sounds pretty negative. lol. She starts out with "Dear (my name)", which is unusual right from the start. I think I've crossed a line because she's like "while I'm flattered by your attention I need to make it very...."

 

...and I can't read the rest because Gmail won't let me unless I open it.

 

OH my. I have to prepare for this. hahah. I was kind of expecting this, but I think I might've preferred if she just didn't respond. Let me be excited about finally telling her and leave it at that.

 

I'm too scared to open it right now because it's going to totally deflate my happy holiday mood. I'll post when I build up the guts to get brutally rejected.

[buddafleye]

AHhahahahahahha......

 

The e-mail was pretty funny.

 

I laughed for about 20 minutes. It sounded like she copy and pasted the section from the TA handbook about what to do when a student comes to you with a crush. lol. It was very diplomatic and even robotic sounding, like it wasn't even her voice.

 

I won't lie. It always hurts to get rejected, but truthfully I didn't even ask her for a relationship. I didn't even ask her to have coffee. I said I had a crush on her and if I didn't tell her it was going to drive me crazy, which it would have. Now I'm free to move on and get the hell over this obsession.

 

I think my favourite part was when she referred me to the LGTB club on campus. hehe.

 

Thank god I waited until that class was over. lol. Can you imagine the awkwardness.

 

I feel a slight sense of disappointment with an overwhelming feeling of relief. Hey, maybe I CAN ask a girl out now.

[NKP]

Im gald she replyed but i am sorry she doesnt feel the same, but you will find someone esle soon for you

[Cadence308]

At least you heard back from her. From the way you sounded on enotalone, the goal was to let a woman know how you feel about her, not necessarily have it be reciprocated. It sounds like you knew that she would probably be uninterested. So what...this is a big step for you.

 

And you got a kick out of her response. She probably didn't know what to say and that's why she wrote exactly what was in her TA handbook. Students develop crushes on teachers/professors all of the time. It's like that professor's account of faculty-student crushes and it has more to do with an attraction to intelligence and authority than anything else. It's not really about finding the professor sexy or beautiful. They are all like that when they are teaching.

[buddafleye]

Yeah, of course it sucks she didn't declare her love for me. haha. I wasn't really expecting her to because like I said, I got gay vibes from her but she seemed straight at the same time. It's also inappropriate for TAs and students to get together.

 

I don't know if I'm even really ready to have a relationship with a girl, but yes, hopefully something legitimate comes around soon. Telling her was a pretty huge step in the right direction. Although.. now I think she's extremely weirded out by me. haha.

 

 

Im gald she replyed but i am sorry she doesnt feel the same, but you will find someone esle soon for you

[buddafleye]

Well honestly I think I might've preferred to never hear back from her. I purposely didn't ask her out and I purposely didn't ask her if she felt the same way so that gave her an out to not say anything. After not seeing her for almost a month now, I can't even say I feel the same way. Maybe I would if I saw her, but right now I don't have the same obsessive crush I had 20 some days ago.

 

I sound like I'm trying to sound not hurt, but I really am relieved.

 

Anyone would laugh at the e-mail. It was a totally different "voice" from her own. She used words I know she doesn't use from previous e-mails and it was just WAY too formal. My main concern I think is that I scared her or weirded her out. She's a nice girl and I just wanted her to know I liked her.

 

At least you heard back from her. From the way you sounded on enotalone, the goal was to let a woman know how you feel about her, not necessarily have it be reciprocated. It sounds like you knew that she would probably be uninterested. So what...this is a big step for you.

 

And you got a kick out of her response. She probably didn't know what to say and that's why she wrote exactly what was in her TA handbook. Students develop crushes on teachers/professors all of the time. It's like that professor's account of faculty-student crushes and it has more to do with an attraction to intelligence and authority than anything else. It's not really about finding the professor sexy or beautiful. They are all like that when they are teaching.