3 year + breakup :(

[Ifeellove]

1st of all hello everyone! im new here

 

Well here is my story.. i thought i would share it with you guys..

im 20 years old and spent 3 years with the most beautiful girl throughout highschool and out, it was the most wonderful experence EVER..

We had out ups and downs like everyrelationship but i felt we were deeply in love.. too this day i still love her so so much and i wonder why i do.

 

recently (about a month) my ex broke up with me, she said she wanted to try different things.. but wanted to keep our connection and contact thoughout life becuase she would love to pick things up from where we left.

This is were it goes bad.

-She dumped me on my birthday

-A week or so later she is dating somone else.. 3 years younger than me

-And she give me mixed msgs.. we still say we love eachother and we keep contact here and there..

- I give her my affection and love still and i feel she dosnt even see it. ( i get hardly any back)

 

for a few weeks i was soo soo depressed.. she sent me letters,msgs,emails all the time... ive just started feeling better now, im moving on and starting to understand that we arnt together. The thing that hurts me the most is the mixed messages and signs i get. ill have her saying she misses me one day, and the next shes yelling at me.

i showed her soo much love.. i gave 110% and i still care about her till this day. We talk here and there and she wants to catch up for a coffee n all that. but im just soo confused..

 

i feel i love her so much i would be with her later on in life.. but what she has done to me, i want to move on aswell... and then again i want to always keep our connection we have... im not sure.

 

I think there isnt a right or wrong in a breakup but i make contact and i send her sweet msgs still.. even knowing shes with another guy.. i feel she dosnt care for him as she visits me at work and kisses me the way we used too.

its very very hard on my feelings and i dont want to completely let her go.. everyone i talk too, simply say move on.. forget about her.. but its the hardest thing too do.. i know she is moving on but i feel if we keep a slight connection we could atleast have some sort of friendshipp.. maybe not now.. but later on down the track.. Women are so confusing she says she cant talk to me about it.. it hurts and finds it difficult to express her feelings.. the worst thing is.. we both were soo soo happy in our relationship.. and constantly bring up the past when we talk and have a llaugh aobut it. i just have to express some feelings.. i think it was the happiest time in my life with her.. it was fantastic.

 

i feel i analyse everything shes said too me, breaking up saying "she dnt want a relationship anymore and dont know what she wants" but then going out and dating another man.. i also feel by the way she is, she dosnt care about the new relationship shes in, i just hope she takes care of herself and atleast thinks of me somtimes, and appreciates how much i did love her.

 

sorry if this dsnt make any sense, i just whipped it up, hope you all understand..

[bobo85]

same happened to me like 7 months ago. She broke up with you and is now with someone else. You have to let her go and do YOUR own thing. Focus on your life.

 

PM me if you need it...trust me i know how you feel

[Survictor]

I have been that girl and believe me when I say it was awful for me too. When I was with my old boyfriend, I did love him still and when I was with my new one, I loved him and it was exciting and new and he offered me things my old boyfriend didn't. He was more attentive for One!

 

I still kept my old boyfriend hanging on... for months and months. Once I went on holiday with my new b/f and I missed my old b/f soooo very much. I phoned him and I realised this was the wrong thing to do. I was hurting him. I was hurting too and was very confused indeed. Rather than hurt my old b/f any more, I promised not to call him. That was hard for me because I really wasn't sure if my new b/f was the one for me....... And he wasn't, but it took me 2 years to realise that! My b/f had moved on and this and my pride no longer allowed me to phone up my old b/f and say, hey I knew it's been a long, long time, but you know what? I want you back and so of course, I stayed silent and moved on. My old b/f said to me that he would drop the new girl for me but I was worried I would hurt him again.

 

I got married but all the while, I wished I had told him how I still felt because I had loved him and he had loved me. I divorced and I contacted him. We got together but he was married. I told him how I felt and how I had felt back then. He still loved me and wished things had been different. I apologised but he said he understood now that he was older. (He had 2-timed me for a few months before we broke up) I wished he had been the man I married. We were both very young and what we had was very special. We were together 5 years, from 14-19 (me) and 15-20 (him).

 

Life goes on and I did meet a wonderful man and we are very happy together. I love him dearly. I shall always have a special place in my heart for my old b/f and I hope he has a special place in his for me. I think he does.

 

So, I suggest you tell her you would prefer her not to contact you right now because YOU need time and space. Nothing like not being around for someone to miss you. It is not good for any future you might have if you are always around like a security to catch her when she falls. Remove that blanket or she will use it. Besides it isn't good for your healing process.

 

Please don't run back to her the minute she says she wants you. Resist it because she won't respect you for dropping everything else in your life for her and she is likely to mess around.

 

Instead, ask her to call you in about 6 months time and you will see what you're doing then.

[Ifeellove]

wow! i didnt relise ppl have gone through things so similar

it really helps talking to ppl who understand!

[Survictor]

I hope it helps and wish you well.