Question concerning blowjobs/handjobs

[Cardinal]

I normally have quite a bit of stamina during intercourse and am finding this to be a problem now that I am actually receiving oral sex pretty consistently now. For the ladies out there who deal with this regularly...with a man who takes quite awhile to orgasm through hj/bj, what are some of the tips you use specifically to speed things along? How did you go about learning to do it faster (if you can)? And for the guys who actually have this 'problem' how did you get over it? On your end of things, what did you do to make it happen faster?

 

I would like to be able to orgasm within 5-15 minutes...the girl I am with really enjoys giving hj/bj's but is very much against doing it for a long time in one setting (>15 minutes for example). I will work with her to help her be able to enjoy it longer but she can't tolerate the actual blowjob for very long...it gets tiring for her and she gets bored (and possibly other reasons too).

 

I have a feeling one or two main techniques will end up working really well along with some supplementary preparation. I just don't want to have to avoid masturbating or necessarily have sex for 20-30 minutes before starting a blowjob (we are holding off on further vaginal intercourse until she gets on birth control next month).

[Stinkweed]

People complain so much... Women say they're unhappy cause their men don't even last 20 minutes and they last 45 hours (note: I'm exaggerating) so some resort to other methods (vibrators, etc) and claim the alternative is more pleasurable (I dunno... Maybe it's only in movies, so you have the right to ignore me). But if they last long, then they say it's too long? We all should spend less time watching TV (and porn for some people, as well)... that way we won't just expect everything to be so "perfect" like it's shown in the media.

[Just A Teen]

Hey man,

I used to get BJ's before actual sex and the funny thing is i hated HJ they just, arn't that good. Anyway with oral i had the same problem takin a while because sometimes it can really suck or something yano something easily can throw ya off and throw off the vibe and make it feel less good or get distracted "oooh i never thought about it but, i have really good looking fingernails" kinda stuff lol. One way to last longer in bed is to concentrate on other things taking the sex off ur mind or concentrating so much on pleasing your partner it takes the greatness off you, now do the opposite, if you wanna finish quick just think i wanna finish quick, hurry up or trick your mind and tell yourself its coming soon kind of deal. That and try to imagine what she's doing, your gettin lucky! A lot of girls wont do oral but the girls who do seem to like it and suggest it more then their BF's ask them for it, at least thats what i've seen? Anyway i hope i've helped if not send me a PM and i'll try helpin ya out more.

[Shadows Light]

He Comes Next: The Thinking Woman's Guide to Pleasuring a Man (Hardcover)

by Ian Kerner.

 

You can pick up a copy at AMAZON. The companion book is "SHE COMES FIRST" both are about ORALLY pleasuring each other.

[Cardinal]

Just a teen I think you have the right idea...if I can make myself lose control, tell myself I can't hold out any longer...that is the kind of mindset that may really help me get there. I am working on this. I often feel quite bad however when I don't get anywhere close in 5-10, and that feeling only makes matters worse.

 

Shadow's Light You have a pm! I may pick this book up. I read she comes first along with another book on cunnilingus and picked up some decent hints/tips in there.

 

Th3ElementO5 The more I think about it the more I am convinced the mental aspects need to be dealt with before the physical can happen. In my case I know time pressure really sucks for me. It almost always backfires if I think she will only be down there 5-10 minutes and then stop. I agree about the hand motion. Feels great but she doesn't have one, so how on earth will she know how to touch it just right? Agreed! I am trying taking her hand and moving it myself with the right pressure...that seems to work okay so that she knows how hard to grip.

[jsx730]

How long does it take you to come when you masturbate?

 

It's kinda cheating, but have her kiss/pet you while you masturbate, and then when you are getting close, let her take over. That's one way to do it.

[leyla_h]

My bf usually takes aaaaages to come. Usually what I do is start with a slow handjob, then blowjob switching to handjob when I get tired, and then fast handjob to finish him off. Lots and lots of switching round, which, thinking about it, probably doesn't help with the coming quickly, but it stops me from getting so tired.

[Cardinal]

How long does it take you to come when you masturbate?

 

It's kinda cheating, but have her kiss/pet you while you masturbate, and then when you are getting close, let her take over. That's one way to do it.

 

I admit I usually use porn (and she also uses porn much of the time). I like to take maybe 20 minutes or so to finish when I am alone. Occasionally more if I want to draw it out. I actually enjoy doing this much of the time. I am fine with 30 minute+ sometimes with breaks. I also must add I have used sleeves quite a bit the last year. They have helped I think with actual sex and lasting as long as I want. But if anything that hurts considerably when it comes to getting off quick with hand work. With my hand alone, I can finish in 6-7 minutes with porn if I start at the right time (after I have turned myself on substantively). To get it at or below 5 minutes I would have to both want to and not get off for a good 3 days plus.

 

I could probably learn pretty easily to get myself close and have her finish it. I also do quite well with 69. That is the kind of distraction I like. Kissing while doing it is great too.

[Cardinal]

My bf usually takes aaaaages to come. Usually what I do is start with a slow handjob, then blowjob switching to handjob when I get tired, and then fast handjob to finish him off. Lots and lots of switching round, which, thinking about it, probably doesn't help with the coming quickly, but it stops me from getting so tired.

 

I think you have the best approach I have seen yet wrt to the time issue specifically. I like the slow handjob idea. I think my girl starts too quick with her hands...and probably also does far too much foreplay down there (which I love but does little to bring me to orgasm) slow does work well. If she held off on the blowjob for 5 minutes...then just put her mouth on it for 5 minutes with hand work..then increases speed as you do that would likely work well within about 15 minutes or so I think.

 

I also believe the switching up does little to help him come faster. I would never get off with lots of switching. I honestly think most men get off to a particularly steady rhythm that is done consistently. You keep doing motion long enough....they normally can stop their hand work while masturbating and last longer that way....but you really don't let up at that point and bam... orgasm. works consistently well! They can't control themselves b/c they can't control the rhythm.

[Cardinal]

Just a quick question. When you do the actual blowing, what sort of suction do you ladies use typically? The girl I am dating kind of uses light suction and moves her whole head up and down the shaft. I think it might work best to grip an inch or two below the tip and form an actual suction that actually moves the skin up and down.

 

I am not asking for a lot of detail if you aren't comfortable sharing...but I would like to get an idea. The rare, rare times when I do choose to use a fleshlight, it is definitely the vacuum sensation that brings me over the edge.

[leyla_h]

I think you have the best approach I have seen yet wrt to the time issue specifically. I like the slow handjob idea.

 

The slow hj was something I just tried one time and he happened to like it. I agree about the switching, it really doesn't help with coming quickly. The problem with if he's taking a while to come, my jaw/neck/arm starts hurting quite a lot which throws my rhythm off completely.

 

I'd suggest saying a bit more while she's at it to encourage her, it's certainly helped me. I mean, it takes a while to understand how everything works with you. I often complain that men don't come with manuals. My bf often asks me when he wants me to go faster or to finish him off but in a way that makes me think I'm driving him crazy, which encourages me further and I'm slowly learning how to make him come faster. At first it was up to 20 mins, but now I'm at 5-10 minutes.

 

When you do the actual blowing, what sort of suction do you ladies use typically?

Usually I use the "slide and suck" method that a friend taught me, "slide down and suck up." The way you described makes sense to me, but I can imagine I'd get tired after a few minutes of doing that.