sugar_plum_fairy Posted October 9, 2006 Share Posted October 9, 2006 can someone help? Everytime I think my b/f is down I always think have I done something wrong... is it me.... Or if he seems like he is acting differently is it because he is upset with or he wants to hurt me when I know deep down that he loves me... I'm always worrying Can someone tell me why i keep worrying and being parinoid? and what I should do to prevent it.... Thanks xx Link to comment
amtjrtcet Posted October 9, 2006 Share Posted October 9, 2006 hey fairy, I wish I knew the answer to that one. I think slight parinoia/anxiety is common when you care for someone. Some people deal w/it better then others. My parinoia/anxiety is a little diff. I had an ex, "D" we were together for a few mnths, things were great, then one day he never called me again, never gave me an explanation, nothing. I was crushed. Now I have a constant fear of being dropped-just like that. I guess all we can really do is try and control our anxiety instead of letting it control us. That's what I keep being told anyway. Link to comment
sugar_plum_fairy Posted October 9, 2006 Author Share Posted October 9, 2006 Yeah your right well I he told me he would never do anything to hurt me and I believe him and I know this I just have to say it to my self when I feel parinoid. what do you think? Link to comment
librarychick Posted October 9, 2006 Share Posted October 9, 2006 I'm going through the same thing right now. Check out my post "need some reassurance". When my bf gets into one of "his moods" I can't help but think it has something to do with me or our relationship. I can't say I'm in a position to give you any advice, but maybe knowing you're not the only one will help. Link to comment
sugar_plum_fairy Posted October 9, 2006 Author Share Posted October 9, 2006 I'm going through the same thing right now. Check out my post "need some reassurance". When my bf gets into one of "his moods" I can't help but think it has something to do with me or our relationship. I can't say I'm in a position to give you any advice, but maybe knowing you're not the only one will help. Yeah it is very help full do you have msn instant messenger? or yahoo? Link to comment
librarychick Posted October 9, 2006 Share Posted October 9, 2006 I don't have either... sorry. Link to comment
sugar_plum_fairy Posted October 9, 2006 Author Share Posted October 9, 2006 I think we just have to think positive i know he loves me Link to comment
annie24 Posted October 9, 2006 Share Posted October 9, 2006 maybe just try thinking rationally. did you do something that upset your boyfriend? if not, think of 10 other reasons why he might be upset for reasons that have nothing to do with you. he could have a problem at work, lost his favorite book on the bus, had a fight with his friend, etc..... Link to comment
Japanfreak05 Posted October 9, 2006 Share Posted October 9, 2006 its ok...... I go through the same thing and basically i see i as..... guys want to be strong, they don't want us to see them down, sad, afraid. So most times they just act like everythings ok. Sometimes that doesn't always work, he'll get fustrated and we can just tell something is not right. We ask them what's wrong and of course it's "nothing" but we (girls) continue to wonder "did i do something wrong" and we pressure them to tell us what's wrong (when really they don't want us to know) so they end up blowing up on us. Don't get it at all but i try to understand it. i'm sure if i've done something wrong he'd tell me. so i let him know that if he wants to talk, i'm always here for him. just let him know that your there for him and that the door is open if he wants to talk. leave it at that, he'll soon tell you what was wrong, if not wait a day or so before asking him what's wrong. give him sometime to cool down. guys like to think things through in their minds, and girls like to talk about things......just weird, but learn from it. Link to comment
sugar_plum_fairy Posted October 10, 2006 Author Share Posted October 10, 2006 I feel bad now because I was down (unhappy) we when upstaires because he was down before and I wasnt all over him like am usually am and now am worrying about it... worried he not going to want me no more... but why do I worry so much is because i'm clingy I always feel I have do stuff for him to make him feel happy... is it all in my head? Link to comment
babypink61 Posted October 10, 2006 Share Posted October 10, 2006 Yeah I know how you feel . . . I get like that sometimes. So when in doubt, I always just ask my bf is he's upset about something. No point in trying to guess if he is. Link to comment
annie24 Posted October 11, 2006 Share Posted October 11, 2006 I feel bad now because I was down (unhappy) we when upstaires because he was down before and I wasnt all over him like am usually am and now am worrying about it... worried he not going to want me no more... but why do I worry so much is because i'm clingy I always feel I have do stuff for him to make him feel happy... is it all in my head? well, this is similar to what I posted before, but it is an interesting suggestion. I read it in oprah's magazine. a columnist said that anytime she got overly paranoid about something, she would write down a list of 12 alternative explanations, some silly, some serious. ie, your boyfriend could be upset because... 1) he has a stomachache 2) his boss yelled at him at work 3) aliens abducted him and gave him an anal probe... etc..... come up with your own list, it may help you feel better. Link to comment
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