NC broken after 5.5 Months....

[Mstyiyd]

Here we go again! NC was broken between me and my ex g/f yesterday after nearly six months. Not sure if this is the forum to post it on because I doubt we'll get back together, so between this one and the Healing after Breakup forum...here goes.

 

I had to take my new puppy to the vet for her 1st shots yesterday, when I came out I saw my ex g/f's car parked there. There is NO way she or I would have known that the other would be there. I know that she has heard I got a new puppy, bec I am still in touch w/mutual friends of ours, but I think the meet up was pure coinicidence. I made this appt for the puppy about a month ago, b/f I even got her.

 

Anyway, when I got ready to leave I didn't see my ex, bec she was prob in the back w/the vet dr. I was about to take off, when smthg came over me, all the hurt and anger from her (she hung the phone up on me after I didn't want to hear about some local gossip back in the spring and never called me back), the way she dumped me like a piece of trash, so I waited for her to come out. When she did, I think it shocked the hell out of her to see me there (she had come w/her teenage niece). She said hello to me, and then we went outside and talked for a couple minutes. She told me that I OWED HER an apology for "speaking to her" the way I did and that "she didn't have time for all that". I told her the only thing I'd apologize for was that I was sorry she took it that way, but I wasn't sorry about anything I said. Then she said her usual, "Now you know we're just friends, friends, right?"........so I said, "As usual, you're still harping on that. I think YOU"RE the one with the issue, not me! You don't see me coming on to you, do you? You think everyone wants you!" .....she didnt say anything in response to that, then asks me if I wanted to go eat lunch with her and her niece. I hadn't seen her niece in a long time either, she's a young teenager.

 

I went to eat with them, then we went to the mall for a while. I feel pretty confident that I did well around her, not as nervous or jittery as I could have been. I've been posting my saga on her for over a year with her, so you can read some of my old posts if u have the time or desire to do so to get more idea about the situations I've had w/her. Basically, we were "sort of" together for over a yr, close friends prior to that, stuck by her when she was very ill, etc etc, and to her she told everyone I was just a friend nothing more...yet hasn't been w/anyone else.

 

This time around, I've grown more, made more friends, have been going out and doing diff things,,,,she's always thought that I couldnt do anything w/o her and she has actually seen me out in recent weeks, though i acted like i never saw her and went on w/my business. We live in a small area, so its not unusual to see ppl you may not want to see out.

 

What might I be expecting from this? Not too much this go around. I'm stronger now. Do I still care for her? Of course,....that takes a long time to stop loving/caring about someone. I have the upper hand now, bec I'm more in control of my life, and able to move on. I also know that her endless partying and chasing ppl hasn't exactly worked in her favor.

 

Can I handle being friends with her? Don't know that either. My friends and others have told me, which i already know, that she benefits more from my "friendship" than I do from hers, bec it's all about her, all the time.

 

Then, after I left her yesterday, she called me on her cell phone about 1/2 hr later, didnt leave a msg, so I'm sure it wasn't that impt. But I found that funny! So we'll see what happens. I'm not planning to drop my world again bec she may/may not resurface back into the picture.

 

Just wanted to give an update, any comments, thoughts, suggestions, are welcome.....you guys give good insight, and I enjoy reading everyone's posts and progress.

[andrewman]

Hey I just noticed that you posted this almost a month ago and haven't gotten any responses from anyone, has anything else happened?

[lovecrazy]

Yeah you did really well...NICE JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

Keep us updated

[Mstyiyd]

Hey, thanks for posting something.....I guess I didn't get hardly any responses the last time...just happened to be on here right now and saw my post back up! Thanks so much!

 

Well, in a nutshell......it's like the way it was before. Seems like we went from 0-60 after all that time. We have been spending alot of time together, but no sex, nothing like that.....as friends. Sigh. It is hard for me and my friends think I am a glutton for punishment because I still have feelings. I am respectful and have never come onto her, physically or verbally. She calls me several times a day, for no reason....like old times. She recently had a death in her life, someone she used to date, and asked me to go w/her to the funeral and all this stuff.....I mean, it's like a friend maybe would do smthg like this, but to me, it's more of what you'd expect from someone you're dating....? I'm so confused.

 

One funny thing that has come up is she went on this spiel about a wk ago about how she values my friendship above anyone else, etc etc....and I said to her that I didn't understand why she kept going on about this when I hadn't brought up anything about this. I feel like she has the real problem....but I can't figure it out and don't think I need to. I'm still going out w/my friends, trying not to read into it, accepting things as they are. After this talk, she had planned to stay over my house that nite bec we had taken a trip and my house is close to her work. She slept on the couch but I woke up very early, and went downstairs. She woke up and asked me if I would lay with her. Now THAT IS WEIRD! Why would she do that if she's the one saying I don't want to be with you, don't want a relationship, all of that?

 

This past wkend she stayed over a couple of nights and brought her sleeping bag with her. The first nite, as I went to go to bed, she said that for some reason she "couldn't" sleep on the couch, so was it ok if she brought her sleeping bag upstairs to my bed? WEIRD! I slept in my bed like a normal person and she slept in her sl. bag on top of my covers. No touching, nothing happened between us....but isn't it true that you really shouldn't sleep w/your friends? The second nite she tried it again but I told her to stay on the couch. It's like she's playing me, testing me, or doing something..........and I don't get why. She likes to go out and party still.........why not hook up with someone that way???

 

So that is what's been up. It's funny...if the tables were turned and I had been the one to ask her to sleep w/me....you can only imagine how she'd be. And all this could change on the drop of a hat.....with her, you never know.

 

My bday was also recently and she actually got me a gift certificate to a bookstore, a bottle of wine, and some candy that I really like. I must say I was surprised bec of all that's gone on between us.....it wasnt an "i love you" type thing, still very nice of her, but i was a little surprised.

 

If anyone has any comments, thoughts, or anything else for the suggestion box, it is def welcome! I wish I could just cut her off and keep it that way, or meet someone who is seriously wanting to be with me, but it hasn't happened yet. So I'll just go on and keep trying and maybe someday a miracle will happen! Thanks for reading!

[Captain34]

after skimming through the above posts,

 

i'd say put yourself on cruise control and see what she does...

 

keep us informed

[dstanzler]

Or just seduce her.

[Mstyiyd]

Um.....hello? Seduce her? She told me a million different ways that she did not want to be with me for any reason other than friends.....