...Wow, she was like a cyclone...

[Timmerz2]

Hey guys, I've been reading for a while, but I've never really had a reason to post... until now. I thought this sort of thing only happened in bad TV drama's, but here it is happening to me...

 

I'll start at the beginning, it's a very long story. We live in a little mining town in Northern Australia, most of us work for the mines, and new people come in and out all the time. Well, a new bunch came in a few days ago, and one of them was this girl, she looked kind of lost so I took under my wing...

 

I've been with my current girlfriend for about three months, she has some self-esteem issues, but that's not really a problem. We had this weekend party, and everyone ended up staying over at a mates house for the night. The new girl, call her S, was there as well (I invited her), and it was an alright night.

 

My girlfriend hit the sack pretty early on, so I spent a majority of the night talking with S about her home town, friends, ect... She was just a little drunk, and fairly late on she told me she 'really liked me' and offered me her bed...

 

...well, I was shocked. I really like(d) my current girlfriend, so I turned her down quickly and went straight to bed. I woke up late the next morning, and both S and my girlfriend had left without saying anything to me - which I thought was strange...

 

I didn't see my girlfriend for the rest of the weekend, couldn't get her on the phone, nothing. Out of the blue she asked to talk two days ago, and very suddenly we broke up without a real reason being provided... I was extremely upset, and S was there to comfort me the over the next day or two...

 

Now S is gone again, and I just discovered that the reason we broke up was because S had told a few people that we'd made out that night when we were alone, and gossip spreads quickly in a small town! Now people think I'm this guy who cheated on his girlfriend, she wont talk to me, and S has left for wherever she came from...

 

...what can I do? I want to talk to my girlfriend, but she's so upset that I can't two words in before I get hung up on... And it seems a lot of old mates have lost respect for me... everyone just took this girl at face value, and now I'm left high-and-dry!

 

I feel kind of numb about the whole thing, like I've been burnt out emotionally...

Help?!

[aymee_lee]

Your mates should believe you if they are really your friends.

 

Try sending your girlfriend a text, or maybe try and get your story accross to one of her friends? Maybe if you sit down with her and explain yourself she will believe you (although it seems hard to contact her).

 

 

Your girlfriend didn't even give you a chance to explain. If I were her I would definitely have asked you about it before I broke up with you. You need to be with someone you trust, who trusts you as well!

 

I hope it all works out for you. People spread gossip without throught of it's factual base and the harm that it's doing.

[Sad_now]

Seems like your girlfriend is hurting. You have every right to say to tell her that you have heard the gossip and you want to clarify exactly what was going on.

If it's such a small place - you are bound to run into her at some point. She can't avoid you forever. Also, you have only been together for 3 months - that's not a long time for people to get to know each other. Make it clear to her that you expect that communication is important in a relationship, otherwise what'll happen the next time another attractive woman walks past. You'll be dumped with no explanation again?

[annie24]

welcome to enotalone.

 

I definitely think you need to talk to your gf/ex and tell her what happened. Rumors fly in small towns. S was probably upset that you turned her down and she got angry, so she decided to get back at you. Make sure to talk to your former girl, tell her the truth. And yes, tell her that communication in a relationship is between 2 people, not random people and gossip.

 

hopefully, she'll want to give things a shot with you again. if not, she is not the one for you....

 

good luck

[Timmerz2]

Thanks for the replies

 

It just happened so quickly... This girl, she was really attractive, I'll admit. It just seems no one is willing to give me the benefit of the doubt, not even the girl I thought knew me the best...

 

I'll try talking to her again tomorrow, but I'm afraid she'll hang up or not want to hear what I have to say... is a written letter too weird?

[annie24]

if she won't talk to you, i would write a letter. I think that would be good.

 

and if she still doesn't believe you, then it is better off. can you imagine being married and having her leave whenever she hears some hair-brained rumor?

[BellaDonna]

Now S is gone again, and I just discovered that the reason we broke up was because S had told a few people that we'd made out that night when we were alone,

 

I had something like that happen to me once, exactly at your age too. My husband (then boyfriend) just got his first apartment away from home. He had a party there and a lot of our friends came over. He drank like a fish that night and I had to put him to bed. There were still people there when my husband went to bed: his cousin, his sister and her friend, and this one guy he was friends with (call him P).

Everyone eventually began to leave and P was drunk as a skunk and unable to drive. I gave him a pillow and blanket and let him stay on the couch. He was snoring loudly in a drunken sleep and I spent a few minutes cleaning up the place so we could not wake up to a mess. Then I went to bed.

 

Well about a week after that P and my husband were ball-busting one another as they always do. That's how their "friendship" was. P took a very low road and told my husband "Well yeah, I - - - - ed your girlfriend while you were sleeping last weekend" and then made an attempt to give details. He saw that my husband got really furious so eventually told him he was only kidding.

 

That did not stop my husband from asking me it was true. I had never been so offended in my life. I could not believe my husband would think I would do something like that. It took me at least an hour to calm his fears. He was 21 and I was 19 at the time. We were committed.

 

Definitely write your GF a letter, if she won't talk to you any other way. You need to let her know that this is not true ASAP.

 

BTW, my husband is no longer friends with P. Shortly after that incident I took it upon myself to tell P off and I told him if he was the last person on Earth I would not sleep with him, I would resort to suicide first,along with some other choice words. Then P got mad at me but I didn't care. I thought it was really rude for him to cause me all that trouble and say something so stupid to my husband.

 

If you see "S" again, give her a piece of your mind. Maybe she'll think twice before she gets catty and tries to ruin some other poor guy's relationship.

 

I can't stand when people do things like that (as you may have already noticed).

 

BellaDonna