what does this mean?

[strawberry]

Hi all

 

Question.

 

What does it mean when you tell a guy you like him and his response, is lots of smiles and "really?"s. I then said yea and he responded, "wow, I just dont deserve that."

 

Is that a good or bad thing?

[Alezia]

I don't want to come accross as a pessimist but if he hasn't said anything back... I'd say he doesn't have the same feelings for you as you do for him.. or that he is very shy to express them..

I know it's one of the things I learnt, when you don't really want to hurt the person, want to see how things are going to work out friendship wise.. to say something like awww.. that's so sweet.

It's just a response that says nothing about how the person feels towards you but is not silence or anything that could make you feel down or impolite.

 

I could also be wrong, everyone is diffrent, but thats just my view on it.

[Batya33]

I think it's his way of evading the underlying issue. He probably thinks you mean "I like you so I hope you ask me out." His response is to avoid the issue of asking you out. This could be because he is not interested in dating you or it could be because he needs to consider whether it is a good idea to date you. He also could have been caught off guard and answered awkwardly.

 

I would say - put him out of your mind unless and until he asks you out on a proper date - until then his reactions really do not mean much of anything.

 

And, what was your point in telling him - my guess is it wasn't just to share your feelings - you seem to have wanted some type of reaction.

[Honey Pumpkin]

I think he sounds like a nice guy - but not really that interested. Sorry. If he were interested, he would have made a date, or said that he liked you, or something. You've got the classic 'that's nice, but i'm not taking it further'.

 

How did the conversation end, or was that it? Have you spoken to him since?

[strawberry]

WELL, dont think Im a terrible person, but I do have a boyfriend. The thing is, we've been having so many problems over the last few months and were just recently talking about breaking up.

This guy is someone I work w/ and from what I gathered he has some personal issues. Hes about 7 years older than me. When he said that whole "I dont deserve that" I said no, no, dont worry about it you dont have to say anything. I basically forced him not to. And before the night was over he was telling me all this stuff about himself (he cant get close to people, why would I want to get involved w/ him) BUT told me he def. identifies wih me and wants to start hanging out more.....so WEIRD. I dont know. He knows (by default) all about my boyfriend problems (me coming into work crying etc. ) what I mess I know.

[Batya33]

I don't think you're a terrible person - I think your behavior was terribly manipulative and self-absorbed. Try and consider how you would feel if the roles were reversed.

[ducky]

Honey, perhaps you can try tell him that after you've broken up with your boyfriend. You're being unfair to 2 parties here: your boyfriend and this guy.

 

Technically, you still have a boyfriend and it doesn't seem that you are putting in the effort you ought to be putting in to save your relationship.

 

With regards to the new guy, you're just dragging him into a quagmire of tangled relationships. What if you patch things up with your boyfriend? Would it mean that you have toyed with his feelings?