The historical roles of men/women are getting us nowhere

[steelwool]

Men are ALWAYS supposed to make the first move, but people don't understand that there are alot of guys just as shy as women.

 

Men want to be "wanted" as well, not just "considered" like some canidate looking for your vote. Then you have those females that get alot of attention and love playing cat & mouse/jump through the hoops games. She'll find that one guy who doesn't go for the games and gets upset/crazy over it. Understand alot of guys have just stopped trying even though they're interesed. play the chase game by yourself.

 

It's a major headache trying to figure out if a female is interested or just being friendly without looking like a fool. The flirting skills are limited and they don't make their intentions/desires obvious enough. No one progresses because it's all just a big game of who has more control. You won't increase your chances for good relationships expecting guys to mind-read and than randomly jump on you.

 

No matter what women say: Nice guys finish last

[sfindependent]

and how would one behave like that when you've already played the "hoop games already?" do i just stop calling, and stop asking her out? stop asking questions about where she's been or where she's going? what about if she tells me who and what she's done? do i tell her to stop because I wont tolerate it? how would i gain that foothold back? i got too many questions running through my mind, and so many options i can do, but only one will work...

 

u dont have to answer all my questions, it was more of a vent than anything. although if u have answers, id love to hear them

[steelwool]

What do you mean by "how do you behave like that"? I'll get back to you a little later in the morning. Need sleep.

[eremy]

First off, it's not like that anymore, women are starting to ask men out just as much as we ask them. Second of all, the games are for those who are doing just that, playing games. Stop asking yourself all these silly questions like, "should I call her, should she call me, does she like me?" Look, it's so obvious that it's become difficult for people. If you want to call her, call her. If you don't get through, leave a message, and she'll get back to you. If not, she's not interested. If you do get through, ask her out on a date, if she says yes, obviously she's interested enough to give you a try, don't sweat it too much either way.

 

Know what I think the real problem is? A lot of people want and expect to find the right woman instantaneously. So you meet this cute girl, have a great conversation, and all of a sudden you start freaking out about whether or not she likes you, when you gotta take a step back and realize that you don't even /know/ this person. The best relationships come from friendships. Why? Because you actually took the time to get to know this person and develop /real/ feelings for them, instead of just jumping into it with a person you thought you knew, then come to find wasn't what you expected.

 

And no, nice guys don't really finish last. I don't believe I've ever lost a girl because I was too nice. Probably cause I didn't listen, or neglected her...Problem with nice guys who think it's their kindness that loses women is that they still have a lot to learn about women!