in a funk

[Daligal83]

So I'm feeling kinda down lately for a couple reasons.

 

One, this is my second year in grad school and I still don't have a reliable group of friends. Most people in my program have families, jobs, or live far away. The people who are my age are just not my type of people. I've connected with some of the girls my age, but they either have full time jobs, are married, live with a boyfriend or hang out with their boyfriends every weekend. Doesn't leave much for my social life.

 

I had a good friend that I made last year, but she's decided that since I have a boyfriend now (long distance) that I'm going to disappear on the weekends so she's made herself insanely busy. She's just assuming this because I said it's how it was in my last relationship, but she doesn't seem to understand that my ex boyfriend was controlling and basically emotionally abusive. It's not like that now, plus I haven't even seen my boyfriend since August 20th! So basically I'm very lonely here and can't wait to leave...and it makes it worse that when I talk to my boyfriend he's always going out with his friends. I mean I'm glad he's having fun, but it makes me miss when my life was like that.

 

The other thing that's bugging me recently is this girl back at college where my boyfriend is. We're both friends with her, although they've always been closer. She's had a huge crush on my guy for a couple years now, to the point of being obsessive, and he's always made it very clear that he's not interested. Unfortuntely she's extremely immature and doesn't totally understand. She kinda flipped out when she found out we were dating and I'm pretty sure she hates me now, but still talks to my boyfriend. Anyway, on her facebook profile she's always had up a picture of her, my guy, and another friend of ours. She recently changed it to a new pic of the three of them, and wrote on her friend's wall, "it's 3 am and I just wanted to let you know that I changed my picture. He's so dreamy!!! I love him!!! hehehe"

 

I know she's not a threat, it's not even a question. But it's still really bothering me!! I feel that it's so disrespectful to do that, especially on such a public forum. I think what's really bothering me though is that there is a girl who is in love with my boyfriend and she gets to see him while I don't. Again, relates to the lonliness. I have no time to join any clubs or take any classes or get a job...I have classes and an internship. It's just on the weekends that it gets to me. I just don't know what to do with myself...

[HealingHandsWarmHeart]

Hey Daligal,

 

I'm sorry you are in funk...i always hate when i start getting down about my life and other things. So understand how you are feeling.

 

When I get in moods like that i have a lot of things i like to do that i can do by myself ...that i enjoy. They may sound corney....but i like them....lol

 

Some of the things i do to keep my mind off my troubles is i sketch, paint, I make beaded necklaces...I'm getting so good at it now i made my sisters necklace for her wedding and she loved it and i actually got requests from others who have seen it to make them one..so that feels pretty good! I recently taught myself Macrame - i can't say that people are making requests..but its nice to learn something new. I read and go for walks and hikes...I call a friend that i don't get to talk to too often.

 

Don't worry...stay focused on your classes and internship.... you'll be home before you know it.

[abbett]

i know exactly how you are feeling! i'm in a place where i feel like i don't really have any friends. i came out of a ltr last year and we had a lot of couple friends.......since they are mostly married, that leaves me few single people to get together with. i did have a very good friend, but she's in a serious relationship and never has time to get together.......

 

i feel really alone in that i don't have a group of friends to go hang out with.......i don't know if it's because i am in my 30s or what.......

 

it is depressing, tho - good luck!

[2ndplace]

What I did was do volunteer work. Though I volunteered over at a retirement home and I'm young (18). I found it best when you keep yourself busy. And if it's ppl you want to meet... try volunteering.

 

Also... try inviting your friend to a club, concert or a coffee house. Try to go to a new public places you've never been, such as those mentioned and approach ppl.. Seem friendly and try to strike a convo.. And also, try not to see it as "your kind of ppl", try to be open minded and try new activities.