Here to vent.

[ElegantOverkill]

first off i would like to say thank you to all of the people on this site. i have found soo much comfort in reading all of your advice over the years. i am a new member but have been lurking for quite some time now. anyway im posting to just vent over my situation. my ex and i dated for 2 1/2 years and she broke it off a little over 3 months ago.

 

i am at the point now where i know its over and there is nothing i can do or say to change that. it was true love in the beginning and at one point she thought i was the one she wanted to merry. the thing with our relationship is that it just never grew, it got to a high point and not that it went downhill it just didnt go further. and the thing is we did not argue that much and nothing was ever done to KILL the relationship.

 

i guess we just got too comfortable thats the best way i could put it. but i miss what we had and i am very sad over the whole thing. i would love to be with this person and right now i dont want to even think about getting into something new with someone else. anyway i am just venting and thank you for your time.

[Orlander]

Welcome to the forums, ElegantOverkill. Sorry to hear about your recent break. Use this time to consider what might have killed the relationship or prevented it from growing. Comfort is a relationship killer so you might want to dwell a bit on why it was so comfortable for the two of you.

 

Take your time and post when you need to.

 

 

Orlander

[ElegantOverkill]

thanks for the reply. reading some of your past posts i respect your ability to handle these situations.

 

i must say the spark did go away and we became almost good friends. and that is why her last relationship failed. its sad because i was willing to work through it and try again to see if we could spark it up again and she was dead set that we were over. i still care deeply for her and i am willing to at least try for a 2nd chance. unfortunately you cant change how the other person feels about you and i accept that but i wish she could see it from my angle and at least try.

 

dont get me wrong i would never want someone to be with me just to make me happy, its just that i see soo much potential that we could have a good life together. after we broke up she told me "if i cant have you i dont want anyone" and she is not looking for another relationship at the moment because she is starting her career as a teacher and she has no time for a relationship. i respect her and her views, but i am not waiting around for anything to happen between us. i just want her to be happy but at the same time i want her in my life forever. am i being too selfish with this?

[g44]

first of all, i don't think being comfortable is a bad thing. i actually think that is great. that means u are in a place where u can do, and say, and think anything - it means that u are in a place where trust and love isn't an issue. sounds great to me. and as for believing you two will never get back together - may i suggest this...if u really want to be with this person, and are sure about that 100%, just make sure u have done everything in your power to have let him/her know...if u have any doubt that u have not done that then maybe u really don't know. if u have spoken directly with that person, face to face, and discussed everything openly and honestly then i say yes. if u have not, then i think u are making assumptions. and if u haven't done that, and u don't do that - then it is really u that doesn't want it after all. i wish u the best luck

 

stay kewl

[ElegantOverkill]

thanks for the input there g44. i have done everything in my power to let her know this. i may have said too much and pushed her away just a bit, but its out there and she knows its just up to her to find her love for me again. unfortunately i believe it is over and i am just hanging on to false hope. i am trying NC to move on with my life but it hard on me right now and its going on 4 months now since the breakup. it just sucks and there is just a hand full of things in this world that hurt more than when someone tells you that they fell out of love with you.